Welcome to my World,hope you like it here.........

Happiest day on Earth.....

2012-01-13T22:37:00.002Z

Nah,certainly not today!!!we the residents of Nigeria aren't very happy @ the moment.I am unableto sleep @ d moment,i just keep looking @ my son and can't stop kissin him over and over again.

The day i had my son is the happiest day of my life,i know for a lotta people,it's d day they get married but in all sincerity,my wedding day wasn't the happiest day of my life.I mean i was happy to be getting married but maybe cos of the whole circumstance(losing my dad and all),it just doesn't stand out as an extremely happy day.I guess i'll be saving all the dancing steps i planned for that day @ my children's wedding..

Another really happy day in my life was when i confirmed i had finished UNI,i studied a male dominated course and i felt like giving up so many times but my mum kept encouraging me,i am pretty sure i finished happier than the person that finished with a 1st class sef

On a random note,There's so much deceit in the world i more than appreciate God's patience now.Someone just explained the relationship between amaka/angela and reginald/sunam in TINSEL to me and i imagine that happpening in real life...God is really merciful

I adapt so easily to situations around me i wonder if i have the gift or that's how it is for everyone anyway.Life is so fickle i wonder why we stress so much to achieve some goals....

ps-i slept off while typing,Aluta continua...#occupy nigeria

Let's try this again:-)

2012-01-02T23:34:00.000Z

I am guessing only madam sting,myne and doll will understand my title...lol

Happy new year everyone,i wish y'all a year filled with fabulousity.Mine didn't start the way i had planned but i bless God all the same.I'd rather start the year on a shaky note than not start the year at all right?

The only new year resolution i have is to finish the bible,God help me as i do so,i have a "you version" plan on my phone but ever since i did one unneccessary upgrade,it's no longer been fun.please share any mobile application you know will help me achieve this and in reasonable time

i am beginning to feel the need to join the marriage counsellin department in church so i can share ideas about marriage..lol.i am sure y'all are laughin with me,after 2years,i dey get mouth...am not serious don't mind me

I'd like to use this opportunity to congratulate doll again on her upcoming wedding,i wish you my darling a very fantastic marriage with all your heart desires coming through.May your marriage live up to your expectations and more,May your marriage bring you all the great things of life you have wished for,you'll be the best wife to your hubby and d bestest mum to your kids.I know GEJ might have doubled the cost of food et al for the day but it's going to be a fantastic day still,this is your year!!!

where's florida again?abeg give us gist of how Code has been "dealing" with you people now that he's a big boy.lol

I miss you jare and i wanted you to know you are one of d few people i find it easiest to open up too cos am pretty sure u won't be judgemental and you analyse intelligently

I like writing so y'all can be sure that even if i am not here as often or i am not as prolific(dat na correct english) as myne,i like it here and i appreciate you all

Let's do this 2012.........Cheers

I miss bloggin....

2011-09-30T19:03:00.002+01:00

hi y'all,

how have u been?i actually miss blogging a lot...i am trying it out now with my phone&if it works out well,i might just start to blog some more

i am inspired to write 5 good&5 bad things about me

1) i am confrontational

2)i am not diplomatic enuf wit the inlaws

3)my motivation to work is d salary&not passion for d job

4)i get pissed off easily

5)i am always in a hurry

6)i hate my space been invaded

1)i love&fear my father in heaven

2)i have an open mind&always listen

3)i adapt easily to situations

4)i am very resourceful

5)i don't take d gift of my son lightly

6)i think&learn fast

ps-i was gisting hubby of how linda ikeji makes over 500k from blogging&he said "am sure u have tried blogging before but u stopped cos u weren't making money"

and i quietely said nothing

Here we are........

2011-08-19T14:25:00.003+01:00

Hello y'all,
Okaaaaay,here we are!!!!i don't even know what to write.how have y'all been?i see there has been so many positive changes,engagments,weddings,births,awards...congratulations to y'all.more power to ur elbow.
I have been very well thank God and so is my darling son and the hubby.The son now crawls and scatters the house while smiling and thinking that's d way of life,i was looking forward to that but av had enough of it already,thank you.

Maybe i havn't been able to come here to write cos i dont have anything to rant a lot for,the "crowd" still come once in a while but the number of days they stay has reduced and d number of people that come has certainly improved,we are surely progressing in that area

I took the 3months injection depo-provera as birth control and its not even funny at all.my period goes on for daysssssssssssssssssss and its jus so frustrating so i don't think i'll be taking the next dose abeg.please can anyone introduce a better birth control pelase?

My opinion of marriage as i type today is that it gets better with days/time......it was really difficult to have an argument with the hubby and not sulk before but now i dont even waste my time,i halla if i have to and d next second,i have moved on to discuss other things,i dont find myself sucking for days w/out talking to him again and we seem to understand our direction more now cos even when he's upset at something i did ,he states it and clearly moves on as well

There's always room for improvement but i certainly confess that the improvement has been a lot.

I don't know if it has to do with our son or d fact that we have learnt from d past but i thank d lord either ways..

Y'all take good care of u and have a nice weekend

Yaaaay,i finally updated!!!!!!!!!!!

Long overdue mummy post.......

2011-02-01T17:10:00.000Z

Happy new year blogsville!!!!!
I am a mummy now and i tell you it's worth all d "sickness",not like i pray to ever go through a horrific pregnancy again but this experience clearly makes me understand how God could have felt the need to send his son to "die" for his children.
I love my son so much it hurts,thank God for musings,he sent me an article about when a kid comes into the picture so it's helping me curb some things

My son is sooo adorable and i love him to bits.i had an 8lbs 12oz baby,don't ask me how considering my health throughout the belle,he came out looking confused,the very 1st picture of my baby i have in my head is "where am i",his apga score was 9/10,he was a rather long baby too,(my hubby is big)
my birth experience was "wonderful",i went through pain for just about 3hours,just about an hour of unbearable pain and that was when i transported myself to the hospital,got testd to be sure i was in labour(dont know what the nurses were thinking),got tested for epidural and taking the epidural...y'all know how it is,there was no more pain,i spent the remaining time of labour(almost a day) been hurt my baby daddy wasn't there to witness it& arguing with him over the phone,i really really really really wanted him to see this cos i felt it will make him respect me a whole lot more but he did all he could to avoid it.What's worse?he's not apologetic,he says he's told me since the day he met me(true that) he'll never witness a childbirth,i thought he'll change and all that but guess that was in my dreams.

I pushed for over an hour and just when the nurses were just about giving up and intervening,i begged for one last try and my darling son came out then i started to WEEP and shiver,i wipe tears off my eyes now as i remember.
God in heaven,i use myself as a point of contact to every single person out there desiring a child,please answer their prayers very very very soon.
It's the type of joy everyone that deisres it should experience.So my sweetie has been growing steadily,i am baby friendly so as "tush" as i am,i bring out my breast in hospital/anywhere to nurse my baby oh,i couldn't care less man
he's a quiet one,very peaceful,he doesnt cry unneccessarily,i actually find his crying sexy,he cries when he's wet,hungry or wants to sleep..i havn't been able to train him to sleep all night,he's over 2months old and he still wakes up in the middle of the night,he has peed right in my face before and i just laughed it off,he has poo-poo(ed) on me b4 and it was okay....the first time his diaper leaked and i promptly went to wash his body suit,my hubby was so disgusted,he wantd me to put it in d washer,am like abeg oh,u know how many people wanna wash baby's clothes,am not complaining at all at all...i shall tell him the story when he starts telling me "hi mum" in future.

All in all,i am happy,my hubby is happy,he's desperate for the boy to look like him cos he's always telling everyone the boy loks like him......am like let the boy choose himself nooow

we ave now gotten to the stage where we are looking for a nanny,my hubby asked if he should install a camera in our sittng room and am like cool down now...na you go first born pikin for lagos,there's someone i have interviewed and seems okay but my hubby collected her address and wants to go and investigate about her in her area first..i think that's absolutely ridiculous but the girl looks okay,i hope she's a good one,she comes highly recommended from a friend
I am resuming work soon and not looking forward to it at all but what can i do??i have to go oh so i can have enough cashogi to send my son to the best of the best

Meanwhile,for any aspiring mums,asides the fact that breastfeeding immunes your child,it's the best choice u can make for your child,it's so cheap and convenient,i already bought my formular in bulk if not i wont have bought formular at all cos by the time he starts to take cereal,he doesnt need so much milk anymore
Anyway,guess it's an experience for me.i have 300 pictures of my baby and No,i havn't started yet,he smiles already so picture taking is so much fun,i wanna do a fotoshoot but i want him to grow a bit older so we can frame the picture and put at home.something really scary happened today,i put him to sleep on his play pen and i dozed off for 30mins,i woke up and found a lot of red rashes on one side of his face..if that had happened with just a nanny,i would have panicked so bad man..guess it was from d heat though cos there was no light.
i cried at the 1st immunization i witnessed but i am a pro now,i even hold him for the nurses and my hand doesnt shake..BCG is soo evil though:-)

meanwhile,Our daddy wants to have sex again cos its been 4months and seriously that's my BIGGEST CHALLENGE in life right now,i have been pushing it with excuses of birth control but i am too exhausted,as IGNORANT & STUPID,FOOLOSH & DAFT as this may sound but it almost feels like he can do whatever he wants outside as long as i never find out in my lifetime,he's beginning to get frustrated and i guess i have to do something about it soon but i am tired i tell u,i am really tired.
i try to make his best dishes and have it ready steaming hot sef but it's not working.I had a major tear& a suture and even guilt tripped him the 1st time that it's cos he wasn't there he's not feeling sorry for him.
The truth is i am psychologically unready,i am scared,i put the baby to sleep in between us for this purpose..i am not been a good wife at the moment but i can't help myself.......Oh well,God help me!

so that's its folks and happy new year once again..My new year resolution is to be the best mum i can be to my prince

NB - would you like to see the picture of his thighs??lol

Happy Wedding Anniversary to moi.....

2010-12-19T00:39:00.003Z

I have been typing this post over a period of 3months and i made up my mind i had to post this year or discard.

Happy wedding anniversary to me,it's been one dramatic year,ups and downs,fantastic times and sad times.I went into marriage knowing for sure it's not a bed of roses,expected to have challenges but i got dealt blows i didn't comprehend oh

At a point,i told my husband we went into marriage with different expectations,we dont see marriage the same way is why we have soo many issues. i tried to itemize my biggest challenges as follows hoping someone out there can learn from it.i dont think marriage neccessarily makes anyone happier,if u were unhappy as a single person,marriage wont cure u of that.I am happy to be married but i wasn't sad when i was single as well...

Talking to multiple people - Till date,i find this the biggest challenge of my marriage.we argue and my hubby tells like 10 of his friends,this is something i NEVER noticed if he used to do when we were dating,i noticed he was telling a particular stupid girl that claims to be married and i was raising fire and brimstone then i realized(he told me) he actually told his male friends as well.....i have tried to talk him out of it and he doesnt think there's a biggie,he agrees its not right but says his friends talk about stuff all the time so its not life threatening....am still prayerfully and physically tackling this....he claims he's jus asking their opinion to know if he did something so wrong cos of the way i react,i find it UNBELEIEVABLE!!!

Closeness - I also think we are closer friends,we have been friends for soo long but living together has made us much more closer pals and of course lovers.he tells me before doing a lotta things even when he knows i'll disagree.top on this list is forex trading.av even asked him to stop telling me but he still does.lol

doubts - There are some times we fight and truthfuly i start to doubt the marriage,i am so worn out and i jus wonder why people get married.there are times i wish i could just leave d house for him and go and rest somewhere abeg..it is well

Differences - Living together has also made me realize we have some major differences that seem not a big deal but it is.I hate lights on when i wanna sleep,my hubby can't stay anywhere dark so i av to wait for him to sleep..i HATE d TV/noise in d bedroom..my hubby thinks its weird he wont have a TV in his room,he says his parents deprived him soo mch of Tv,his wife cant do same and he wont allow me do same to his kids....i just wonder.the flashing lights and noise drive me nuts but this is sumtin i have to live with,i have contemplated stayin in separate rooms but they seriously warned against this in counselling so i just suffer..maybe we'll finally have separate rooms when d baby arrives sha

phone - there's something my hubby does dat pisses me off to bits.when am talking to him on the phone,he tells me a call is comin in and he cuts d fone to talk to the person but wen am callin and he's on d fone,he never cuts d fone to pick my call instead he finishes d call and calls me back,i hate that a lot....when we were dating,the reverse was d case.he would at least pick my call,tell me who he's talking to and tell me he'll call me back if its soooooo important.less than one year and him don dey see me finish!!!

Religion - Our religious life isn't as serious as i wish it would be and that's partly my fault,i am jus very lazy and i dont want my kid born into this kinda life.i wish one of us would just pull the other up,i wish my kids would love God,be saved at an early age and just generally be on the rightest path right from the very beginning,there's still time to right this wrong

feeding-Initially,wen we got married.cooking use to shack me cut then i got preggy and didnt care so much,i am not much of an eater myself.
before ,if my hubby says he's not eating..na fight,will make sure he eats but now wen he says he's not eating,i say "thank God",promptly put off my kitchen lights and go off to bed.i know its a terrible habit but i also know my hubby isnt much of an eater,everyone eats at work anyway and i NEVER eat at night too so whatever

Last but not the least is that joining his family has been the biggest thing for me to accept.till now,i dont feel like am part of his family.i feel like i and my husband are our own family,i feel like he still has his family and i still have mine cos there are some decisions his parents/siblings make and some mine make as well that clearly shows that we are 2 different famlies from 2 different backgrounds.
Of course with his whole family crowding our home and them not seeing any biggie in it,i clearly didn't think we were one cos my own family just kept wondern what kinda human beings they were...lol

I really wish it gets easier this new year sha,i expect our marriage to have started stabilising after the 2nd year.........when there'll be a baby and we are still on course!!!All d very best to us

HAPPY HOLIDAYS Y'ALL

Third Trimester ......Keeping it together

2010-09-22T16:28:00.003+01:00

Hello people,thanks for all the love and encouragement.

Guess i am feeling better now,just tired a lot,and feel round and clumsy and to think the final days aren't exactly here yet.....i actually just outright stopped talking to everyone in the house,i answer when they greet me and stay in my room all day long,i stopped talking to hubby altogether as in "dont even greet me kinda fight"....He sha came around to talk it over wth me,the tools arrived and they seem to be working fine,it still doesn't change the fact that i think it was a risk not worth taking in the first place...he apologised though for just making life more dramatic than it should be,for those of you that got it twisted,i meant we became +7 in the house for about 3weeks and we are usually 5 (including i and the hubby) on a good day so do the real maths....lol.What baffles me is the fact that i am a 1st child and he's a last child so one will expect i am the one always having all sorts of younger ones coming to stay ...he apologised and the conversation went in the direction of really and truly he won't overcrowd anyone like this and he is surprised his people are doing it,he respects everyone a lot and he feels if they ask him to come and he says no,it'll all come back to me,most importantly,i am in a very sensitive stage right nw,he doesnt want anyone harbouring any evil thoughts against me,that's why he isn't taking drastic action,if after the baby,they still don't know to move then he'll have no other choice than to ask them for space....he also accused me of referring to the issue weekly(i wasn't aware of that),he said i sieze every opportunity to just make a nasty comment....like for instance,i know my hubby for a fact likes opening the fridge and been able to take juice anytime but i started keeping all my groceries in the room,hubby gave some funny excuse and took them all out,of course when the juice finished earlier than expected and he asked what happened??am like how is there suppose to be??the rate at which we buy even drinking water sef is alarming and because i am always drinking water this days,i always have bottled water in my bag so i don't care if the water at home has finished or not,he was thirsty in the middle of the night and there was no water and i think he bought the last one himself,i sha commented that i couldnt have finished a whole dispenser of water by myelf now abi.........once again sha,we have agreed on by the time baby comes,they'd have gone........i really and truly hope so..the only fear i have is that the house might be full with the people that are coming to "help" then so i might be tongue tied again if they are still around....i am yet to be nasty or anything cos someone once advised me that PR in front of in-laws is important but i have given them the baby's birthday as deadline,then our wedding will be over a year and i will wear my "miss nasty" jacket on,they like or not,they will get this message

PS - I am starting to do my shopping but i dont have the heart to leave it in the sitting room,it just looked so unfeeling to my baby,sad and lonely,i didn't like the way it looked sha so i have created space in my own wardrobe for my baby abeg

PPS-so i begged my sis to come and do some cleaning of me and one the housemates was mad rude to her and giving her attitude,if i talk now,they will say i like to talk weekly..let's see how long i can keep quiet for...I don't like it when i and hubby have serious fights over his people,out of all d challenges of marriage i ever prepared mentally for,this isn't one of them and i dont think i handle things quite well when i am caught unawares
Hmmmmmm,it is well sha, God dey.........

Third Trimester Blues.....(On my mark...........)

2010-09-07T15:42:00.001+01:00

So to the best of my knowledge,i havn't been cranky or had hormone issues all this while but maybe i am now or my hubby has just become truly annoying and he decides to pass a silly comment - "Thank God my hormone issues didn't start earlier", how annoying is that?
and to think he travelled for less than 2weeks just recently and i was so down,feeling alone,missing him and rapidly went to change his ticket the second he told me he was through with why he travelled and could come back earlier.....less than 48hours after i went to pick him up from the airport and he's giving me issues.......I just wonder how one is suppose to be patient in situations like this,issues started cos he's trying to buy something online and i just have this intuition it's a fraud,he stumbled on some random guy on the internet, and a tool (work related) we both know costs about $3k for one is been offered at $2k for 5 and he thinks God has just blessed him,it's an opportunity he can't let slip away bla bla.........am thinking we have a baby coming,we are yet to shop for a pin...yeah ,yeah,i checked the sex again and OB/GYN still claims the baby's legs are crossed.....it's beginning not to make sense to me by the way as this is about the 5th time i have tried to check.....i told him not to buy it and he won't just listen,he's using a fake name online too and i am like ,what if this guy just like is using a fake name just like you and is a fraudster,he said the guy is d source,he used to buy from 3rd parties before....it's almost as if he is been jazzed cos he has sent the money!!
As if that's not enough,i just realized,he still trades in forex almost actively,he actually loses more money than i imagined and he still has this illusion that someday he's going to be a guru and he's going to make it in forex........again,i wonder,is it jazz???I am just so upset,infact i don't feel like been married at this point so we can have SEPARATE problems,i hate the fact that he won't listen,yet if i am the one been half this stubborn,some silly words like submissiveness will come into play.....mschieeew
Now cos i realized all this things from his phone (thank God for BIS..hehehehe),he now locks his phone..that's BS as far as am concerned cos it's when you have things to hide ,u start acting shady all around and that's just going to bring more issues i can tell already
Then there's still d issue of his whole clan turning our so called "home" to their long let apartment,it was suppose to be "short let" but our wedding anniversary is next month and it clearly looks like we are going to be celebrating together,i even feel like doing a photoshoot of us and my belly at the moment but i dont know how to go about it cos his house family members might wanna appear in the pictures and i don't want them in my picture abeg,they can appear if we are celebrating something but it's an album for just the 3(oh well,d +1 is the main reason why i want to take the pictures...lol) of us so they can back off.thank you...i even went to go and tell pastor of this house thing and he had the nerve to tell the pastor i am not just been patient,11months and counting,i am not been patient,the pastor has been married for 20years and told him categorically without mincing words that it was completely wrong,no one has ever lived with them including house-helps....we have to be in agreement on who lives in our home......a couple of weeks later,our number in the house increased by 7......i actually overheard a convo of one of d people coming telling him to ask if its okay by me,mschiiiiew,was i suppose to say No?so they can go and start my matter in their family meeting???they don't even feel like family to me atimes cos my blood family would be thoughtful....i don't think i will allow my clan to go and stay with a newly married sibling for 11months and be claiming "shebi it's not forever".duuuuh,we wont be living in the house forever too,we'll build our own house and move out one day so beat it.......
....several things have just been playing in my mind......i wish there was somewhere i could just go to and just be on my own for a while..i just can't get up and travel now cos i have antenatal to attend,shopping to do,a birth plan to follow and i am responsible for the well being of my child irrespective of any annoying situation so i can't be irrational
I hope i start feeling better soon because if anyone should just cross my path in that house (all of them in his family INCLUDING him) right now,they will hear it from me.........There's even no where in the house to put the baby things when i shop sef,i think i'll just leave it in the sitting room since there's no space anyhwere else again abi?let all of us be looking at it there,maybe it'll say something to them

Happy holidays jare people,i am not even looking forward to the holidays cos i wonder what i am suppose to be doing in a house full of annoying people for a whole 4days??

I wish i didn't do my hair last weekend,i would have spent my whole day swimming or who knows how i can protect big braids in water??

take care y'all

Seond Trimester (Mojo back on Track)

2010-07-22T15:17:00.002+01:00

How una dey?Quick gist Update

Qmoney front - So i have moved to the 2nd stage proper I am really doing much better, thank God. i am totally dependent on anti-nausea drugs though as per if I miss it for a day or stress too much in a day,i get all sick and all but i have gotten my sexual mojo a bit back though hubby said something hilarious like he thinks am now wider "down there", am like it had better be wide enough for the baby to pass through without any tears or issues and he goes the baby shouldn't over widen it oh cos that's bad for him.......it just reminded me of when he used to threaten / tell me when we were dating that cos he's my 1st boyfy, he'll always know if any other person ever slept with me, of course i felt it was all bullocks but was too faithful to try and prove him wrong anyway and now marriage has entered so we'll never know :)
I am now back to using powder even if my eye-shadow doesn’t appeal to me anymore,i was such an eye-shadow freak but still don’t tolerate irish spring bathing soap so we use baby soap to bath, i went to the supermarket near my house the other day and the naughty shop assistant there came to meet me and helped me in pushing my trolley and kept teasing me all through my shopping that i shouldn't be checking prices of anything cos of the "obama" we are expecting, so i figure i am already showing quite obviously contrary to what I thought…..i try to dress not to announce myself though, i was banking on the fact that am a slim person so i won’t get obvious till like the last month or maybe 2months.i now eat like a horse but it's the same old things i have always liked, I still hate chinese/italian/indian/ghanian(kenke and banku) food.
I am not as gra-gra as i used to be cos i just take things easy as i get tired easily but all in all, we give God the glory. I can finally say i have started been happy about my condition though it's quite strange i am yet to buy anything as in i haven’t bought a single pin and that’s partly because dear baby has refused to co-operate with informing us of the sex, d baby just dey cross leg all the time when the doc tries to check and my doc said we aren't doing scan again till 36th week because my health plan doesn’t cover it, i just laughed to myself because the guy clearly doesn’t know me, i sharply went to find out from my healthcare insurance what i am entitled to and they say i can do a million scans if i want so d Dr should better be in a good mood the next time i visit and dear baby should co-operate. My hubby wants a girl though ,I think i wanted a boy but i have this intuition i am having a girl cos people claim i am fairer, finer(hehehe) and i hear that happens when u are carrying girls, one is ugly when carrying boys and my colleague that is expecting a girl is really pretty.

Hubbyfront - My husband became someone else after this news oh, first of all, i almost thought he wasn't happy sef cos we were having one of our fights when i knew so i wasn't inspired to tell him in any special/romantic manner ,i just told him and walked away from him sef and he didn't call me back or react or anything….....can't remember how the fight ended but i remember falling sick and becoming entirely dependent on him and helpless and i saw my hubby transform from an UNROMANTIC man to an entirely different person, he became so very caring, attentive, listened to all my complaints even if it always ended up with do u wanna go to the hospital? cleaned up after my several throw ups, became the driver, the cook ,just name it....now he developed an attitude that i am finding difficult to cope with till,he makes it a point of duty to rub my tummy, kiss my tummy, talk to my tummy, kiss my face, all d parts of my body morning and night ,opens the door for me, doesn’t allow me lift anything(This request came from the doc actually)and i am wondering if that is the been romantic i always claimed i wanted. i don’t know how to tell him he doesn’t need to do that EVERYDAY if he even needs to do it at all but I am kinda scared that will hurt me but I am not used to it
I have decided that the "hostel" our home has become is beyond him cos i used d opportunity of this my state to bring it up again and he still couldn't come up with a solution have decided to ignore their presence and just live my life like they dont exist. Of course it gets to me atimes that his niece in the house just acts evil or how do you explain the fact that she never told me sorry all my sick periods and neither has she ever tried to help me or even her uncle with anything, he was going to grind pepper himself at some point!!!!!it's just totally amazing sha , she doesn’t even feel the need to greet me in the house anymore but like my mum said, her greetings mean nothing to me so i should not even think about it………….that’s part of what marriage entails, surprises and I should learn to deal with it,I should never allow anyone come between I and my husband, it shouldn’t change the way I relate with her parents or his other siblings…yada,yada,yada but I confess that husband management is not an easy task oh. I still don’t have an authority on how to disagree with his opinion and go along with what he is saying,I would rather he just does it himself so I can tell him “I told u so” while he is of the opinion that even if I disagree,as long as he doesn’t agree with him, I have to follow his lead..no be small thing!!!
It’s all good sha,that’s about the gist for now…see y’all in the the 3rd trimester

PS: Welcome back oh Madam LG,na so life be abi???because u are now close to power,u abandoned all of us here?if u come dey inside aso –rock nko??u go deny us be that…Nigerians??na so una be,no be today..…hehehehe
Good to have you back

First Trimester(hyperemesis gravidarum)

2010-05-28T10:22:00.002+01:00

SO i have been waiting to come and feed you back on how i have started getting better and i now have cravings for yam and ice-cream but i am afraid this isn't the case,i am still sick,sick,sick.
All the books i read claims the illness should have started winding down and i should have started feeling better but it jus seems like a figment of the writer's imagination.I can't even begin to describe all the issues,my work people aren't making things easy for me as well but i seem to have allowed those ones get to me more than neccessary and will no longer be able to tolerate their issues.
I think what i need now is continuos prayers cos am sure divine intevrvention can cure this matter in a matter of seconds.
Have a nice weekend y'all

PS:i saw that big word in my title for the 1st time on FFF's blog when activist sent her article and thought,what a big word??i still can't pronounce it but that's what i have on my file,i just see the word all around me so often now.
God is in control.FFF,wetin do your blog?gone private?

First Trimester............

2010-04-16T13:10:00.001+01:00

Hmmmmmmmm,i think i need a personal blog writer,i just tell the person all my thoughts and all the things i wanna blog about and the person blogs about them for me.

SO yet again,i have been away but this time,i have been sick,sick,sick....this 1st trimester business no easy at all oh,i expected morning sickness but na lie,i am sick and throw up morning,afternoon and night,brushing my tongue is a nightmare.
I expected to be addicted to a particular mama put and buka under the bridge but na lie,i hate all and every food,i have always been a problematic eater but it's much worse now,i dont eat at all,i manage to eat cereal and then i throw up like its going to be my last on earth,i stop randomly on the road to throw up too,i have been trying to fall into a routine but its jus not working,all d food i buy is so salty ,i wonder if i actually use to consume so much salt so the little i eat now,husby has to prepare,i didn't know he was such a cook quite frankly
i am usually quick tempered and can halla but i jus dey too tire,i no even fit shout,no matter what anyone does,i jus dey look.......i expect husby to be extra careful around me cos i go don turn wifezilla but i am actualy not doing bad at all for now,we arent fighting,am not snappin at home but i think thats cos he has been extra super prepared,d hubsy has been soo much of a darling,i don't even enter d kitchen to cook again cos everything just stinks seriously,he was boiling meat the other day and it felt like we were killing a ram in our house......all my perfs have failed me except armani diamonds,its d only perf that smells like a perfume now,every other thing smells like crap.
BY the way,the situation of d crowd in my home is still there and i told my hubbby categorically that i will never be able to tell his kids about periods when it was just us,there has always always been no privacy and lots of noise in the house anyway,i have sha warned him that i need an extra room for my baby but i am too sick to pursue that now.
i have become "useless" to myself and the society at large,husby has banned me from asking what he wants to eat,he says i should jus eat and forget about him,once i start complaning about someting,he cautions me not to allow my BP rise and just take things easy.life as i know it right now is not easy at all at all,i am highly uncomfortable,i am cold and then hot at the same time,nothing appeals to me and i am premanently hungry,the little i manage to eat i throw up...i don't even know if i am going to work until after i wake up in the morning cos each day comes with its own unique experience.
i was practically visiting the doc every other day and i noticed he had nothg new to say,he was suggestion admitting me since i seem to like the enviroment,he said we need me to effect behavourial changes,i was sipping a 2nd small pack of just ribena in his office and i had to throw up,he said i was taking too too much at a time

After all said and done,i thank God for my life.one of my friends asked me if i wanted a boy or a girl,well i told her i want healthy twins,a boy and a girl,i dont have d patience of waiting for the other sex:)
My husband wants a healthy female child if God permits

BY the way,i didn't tell my hubby in any romantic way i had been planning all my life oh,and he on the other hand doesnt seem to mind cos i kept asking how he woulda wanted to know,he goes "anyhow,as long as am informed"
there are times i wake up in the morning and i am even too tired to pray and he just prays for me.
Lastly,shebi when i was sick,the husby left me alone,i have been feeling a lot better compared to how i was feeling before in the last 2days and last night,the hubby dared to near me with the same "cause" of my illness in the last couple of weeks,if you see the way i harassed him ehn.....like seriously,shouldnt he be sympathethic to my plight and just leave me alone for the next 9months????lol

PS:so the other day,my friend told me of a househelp that carried baby to boyfriends's house and same day i read of FFF's househelp dissapearing with company driver......eeeeeh,with all this my sickeness,someone will be trying all this nonsense and ingredients with me??i pray for divine patience in advance!!!!

PPS:My boobs are growin at an alarming rate,am i suppose to keep buying bras since they will keep growin abi what am i suppose to do?

PPPS:Any advice on where to go babyshopping and what and what to buy?d only thing i have is the hospital list,my hospital is very pro-active,they already gave me that and a birth plan asking if i wanted to listen to music or watch a movie in labour......interesting questions i tell you

Have a nice weekend people

Nollywood weekend,happy new month!!!!

2010-03-01T14:29:00.001Z

I decided on my drive to work this morning that if i do not update today,i will shut down the internet!lol
i started feeling its unfair i am always reading other people's posts and i refuse to put up one.

Anyway,story story..i have gist for you people.
How was valentines day for y'all?mine was suppose to be extra special because it was my first as a married lady (african no dey answer woman) abi??it was all in my imagination,i and hubby took a drive away from the house,i went ahead to tell him things i liked about him and appreciated..it kinda looked like the scene he proposed just that i was the one doing the talking then i brought up the topic of how our home is fast becoming a hostel,our young marriage is just unnecessarily exposed et al........it didn't end quite well,it actually ended in a very nasty manner, i said some things i wasn't suppose to say even if i didn't mean them and bla bla bla,we resolved it MUCH later with him telling me "i owed him one",now what that has always meant in our realtionship is that the next time he messes up,i had to cut him some slack sharp sharp and move on cos my name is in our grey book already.....

Thats how last week friday oh,it was a public holiday in naija(u just have to love this country against all odds),we were just home generally happy and lounging,hubby had to go for a meeting on the island,i called him at 6pm to tell him he could have anything he desired for dinner,he said he wanted chips and peppered fish.....whoever asks for that to be made at home???i sha told him to call me when he's on his way home so i can just start d final preparation so it can be served hot and crispy,made all d preparations oh,marinated the fish and beau refused to call,at 9pm i called him and he told me our code word for he's with people and cant talk so i just told him to come back home on time.......i happen to always sleep early so i slept off,at 3:20 a.m,i woke up and my hubby wasn't beside me,checked for his car and it wasn't there,picked up my phone and saw he tried to call me severally at 11pm or so,went out to the parlour where his nephews were watching TV,asked if he contacted them or their uncle(his brother) also staying with us and no one knew his whereabout.....that assured me he wasn't in trouble.he woulda called someone esle when he didn't get through to me if he needed help

3:30a.m,i logged on to blogger,saw myne's post about "why do we get married" and shared with her what i called and inexplicable disapointment....sent my husband a strongly worded txt this was never to repeat itself again,like i wrote on myne's blog,i was sure he wasn't in trouble...he just knew he was in my good book so he could slip up.

saturday morning was enviromental,he had not called his phone was still unreachable,his brother came to wake me up to ask for his whereabouts,i told him i did not know.d next thing my husband's eldest sister and brother were calling me to ask for my husband,scolded me for not reporting my husband to them,i should never do that,told me i was lucky his brother was staying with us so he reported him bla bla bla.
Enviromenal is over,his brother goes out,my husband comes in,already bought breakfast(after wasting my time the night before,of course he was thinking fast),just knelt down and was begging me,he jammed his friends somehow somehow after that meeting and just decided to hang out,he tried calling me and i didint pick.qmoney:y didn't u send txt??besides u had no right to hang out after u made me go out of my timetable for special dinner,was it 11pm i was suppose to start cooking??he sha agreed he had no excuse and for some reason,i wasnt even soo angry about that anymore,i was more upset over what his brother did but i didn't show it,i wanted to see how my beau will react to the matter,i told him about his whole family knowing about it and it was his brother that reported him,he got soooo mad,infact he said i was joking and pulling his legs for a very long time.meanwhile his brother told me not to tell my hubby anything when he gets back,(Was he joking??),i told my hubby the whole thing to prepare him and told him he had to act like he didn't know.he charged his phones and d calls from his whole family came....his brother came back home and they had an argument,that one now said he was feeling sorry for me,thats part of y he reported him and my hubby goes,he has to be a joker,he has annoyed me more by reporting him,he had no business poknosing in our life,its bad enough they all live with us and i dont have my privacy,how many of my siblings have they seen camping with us and my parents dont even live in lagos so it should have been our excuse.. .....that one asked me if twas true i was upset and i jus smiled.......hubby sha asked him how far with his unending house search and when he was moving out,he thinks his wife has tried enough,they not only eat my food,he has now stepped it up with interferring in our life......it's so funny how this matter turned out.finally,they can all move out...AMEN!!!
Bro in law has stayed with his gf for d last 2 nites,i called to beg him to come back(we all know am pretending i want him back right???),he said its all my fault i made him too comfy,he's sure he won't be dat comfy staying with his gf and he will get a place asap
so thats how dramatic my weekend was,how was yours?

Happy new month,please have a blast

PS: My bro in law and hubby's nephews are all very sweet and nice people,they are yet to wrong me as we have been living together but the thing is a young marriage needs to grow away from people....and u know how it is overfamiliarity brings drama,we still dey respect ourselves now and i wont want anything bad to happen

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...............

2010-01-22T09:17:00.002Z

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to live alone... even if she doesn't like it...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE...
enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
something perfect to wear if the employer, or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a youth she's content to leave behind....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a past juicy enough that she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age....

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry..

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ....
a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal, that will make her guests feel honored...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE ...
a feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to fall in love without losing herself..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
when to try harder... and WHEN TO WALK AWAY...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents..

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
that her childhood may not have been perfect...but its over...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW..
whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
where to go... be it to her best friend's kitchen table... or a charming inn in the woods... when her soul needs soothing...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...
what she can and can't accomplish in a day... a month...and a year...

Have a nice weekend y'all!!!

Thank you,Happy new 2010,ANUOFIA Lawyer...

2010-01-11T06:42:00.005Z

How could I have forgotten to thank my special peoples for all the suggestions..i used every music suggestion I got oh.......our dancing in was a bit tacky though because I told them to play this new 80wazobia praise and worship CD. I had practiced everyday for a week and i could dance to the songs very well. it was a bit tacky at the wedding sha and hubby was complaining that how could I have chosen this songs, we sha still danced in but every other song went as planned...endless love...jesse king...celebrate good times...everything I got from my co planners here. Thanks again

So moving on to the new year, happy New Year everyone wish you the very best this year and for all times. So marriage is a bag of chips and more, I swear I think hubby has changed oh, I think he acts more responsibly, he informs me of his every move, I have never been the one to ask plenty questions so its funny when he is giving me all this information I didn’t ask, I know a lot more about his job and where he is investing our..scratch that..HIS money. Am beginning to find the food part a bit challenging cos his tummy is getting bigger than I can tolerate and he says it's cos he eats heavy at night
Thing is it’s still shacking me to make food at night cos its d only time I make food anyway, I even find that on some Saturdays, its d only time I make food too so he can’t afford not to eat proper food at home at least once ooh so we now made it eat light food which happens to be jus plantain (boiled, fried) and just bread……….Now even me am bored of giving him that
Then he made a comment one day that "marriage is really more convenient oh", i dont complain he's not calling me again...before, he had a mandate to call me on or before 9am in the interest of peace but of course there's no reason to bug about that anymore.....d arguments have moved to, don’t put your slippers there, hang your shirts properly, DON'T LEAVE UR SPONGE IN THE BUCKET after having your bath!!!!!!!!!

***Phew**.....My emotions on baby meanwhile is ROLLERCOASTER, when I see or hear of a woman going through labor pain or see d changes it makes to a woman or my friend is telling me about how she cries every night when baby isn’t co-operating or about the househelp they got and she confessed to be a witch and was trying to suck the child's blood, i shiver and then I see cute MM junior, cute Rabbi junior and some other outside blogsville, I start praying to God to just give me twins,1 boy and 1 girl and I won’t mind not having any other children or wait till 5years later:):)
Most people i called on new year's day included children in the prayer.......i was even gisting with my friend which day and even if she has been living with her BF for over a year now, she claims she doesn’t wanna get married so she won’t start been under pressure to have kids, kindly note that she is 31!!!!!!

Enough of my ramblings, happy New Year once again people............i wish u all the very bestest 2010 has to offer for now and all times. May u make only the best of decisions this year!!!!!!

THIS IS AN EMERGENCY
My people, i am so boiling mad right now. The lawyer that i rented my apartment from when i was single called me today to inform me i sublet the house to my siblngs. This stupid man asked who i will be living with when i was paying for the apartment oh and i told him my siblings, he didn't inform me he'd like to include their name in the agreement. he is now calling me to be saying all that crap........my mum suggested i go there and beg him and explain to him i am married and that’s why I moved out.
I called a lawyer friend that told me to send him a txt saying I was responsible for the renewal of the house rent, (just last month), I am still responsible for the house and i still spend time there...her point was that he wants to extort me for agreement fees again.it's normal in lagos,bla bla
For crying out loud, i pay *2 of what one of the tenants in that house pays, haven’t i been extorted enough?????
My lawyer friends here.......please what is right and what is BS ooh???

2months don waka................we still dey carry go

2009-12-17T01:00:00.002Z

Hello People,
I am soooo soooooo sorry,honestly i am.i have tried severally to update but you see, FFF and co didn't warn me about this new found responsibity of marriage.
I dont have time to myself anymore and then y'all know my hubby doesnt think its possible i have a blog cos he believes i wont just waste my time anywhere i am not making money(what does he take me for??) so i cant update at home and you remember i got a new job so i have just managed to settle in enough to get time to type a post but not to worry,i read posts from my favourites all the time........

The wedding day was fun oh but the build up to the wedding was chaotic,i practically broke down one day and was crying.My new office didnt want to approve my leave even if i told them at the point of my resumption,the stupid gown woman was misbehaving on a massive level,the silly shoe woman was bugging my life about a shoe filler she could only bring in from london,i can tell you for free that in my opinion,its best you order your dress yourself,i didn't do that and it was pretty challenging.

My decor was fantastic,the ambience was classy,everyone was organised and well taken care of,the food was great(special thanks to mummy Aleesha's caterer),the hairdresser didn't come to wrap my hair so i had to let my hair down,we were in so much of a hurry i didn't see my makeup after it was done,everyone claimed it was very nice but by the time i saw myself,i thought my lip was crap,the babe used red abi was it wine lipliner,what the heck is that??
After paying so much to all those caterers,i didn't eat any food at all at all at the wedding,imagine that?my hubby was fasting anyway so he didn't eat as well,we didn't exchange cakes as well,we danced just twice,we didn't do the dance dance dance part,we tried to make it as low key as possible but it was a happy day for us.The musician was good,i loved my cake,infact i now know why people tend towards wedding planning as a job after their wedding,you just feel like correcting the "mistakes" at your wedding and its fun doing all the planning,the MC wasnt bad as well.,all in all,it was a good day,really good day to remember

In the meantime,u people should see me see trouble,the picture guy has refused to bring the picture and video C.D oh,i went to fight to collect album and its just there,hubby wanted us to have 2 photographers but i thought it will cost too much but i am thinking it woulda been a good idea oh,the step sibligns didn't come and they havnt deemed it fit up till now to call me or my mum even if my mum called them to invite them,i am actally happy they didn't come cos seeing them alone could have dampened my spirit,my in-laws were really very nice.my father in law is really something else,i think he's trying to make me not miss my daddy cos he calls me every other day to ask after my welfare,i recently did a dental extraction and the man was so worried,by the way hubby was lousy at bedside care,he felt i wasnt pulling myself together enough bla bla bla......i still miss my daddy oh,i really really miss him,i even sometimes think maybe if we flew him abroad he woulda survived,i am scared for my mum cos she's really alone this days,like there is no one at all to just be with her and talk to her and things.
I went to see her the other day and wore a dress(my aso ebi ifact) and she was wondering why i was still so slim..like seriously???i leave a totally unrelated status on FB and people are insinuating been pregnant,i have a slight headache and everyone in my office is talking about been pregnant,at first,it was a funny joke but can everyone stop it already??i didn't get married cos i was in a hurry to get preg, Our relationship was pretty long term and my friend actually opened her mouth to say she doesn't understand what we are waiting for again cos of that.....i will soon become violent if one more person says anything to me about gettng pregnant...how e take consign you????lol

Anyway,yesssssssssssssss,we have been married for 2months today,its been great so far,i think my cost of living has increased though cos my house is farther now so i stay in traffic more so i consume more fuel but i am not complaining
I have made food almost every blessed night in the last 2months,we havent eaten out at all at all....husby now has to eat at home oh,infact he forgot and bought food on sunday morning but he had to keep the food and ensure my food doesnt waste,i have been checking out cheap places to shop in bulk for food items and what not....Nepa no dey do us well for our new area but we dey manage.........we have some people staying with us at the moment,i dont really like it but i am coping.i just feel like over familiarity brings contempt,its usually better when u keep a distance from all this family members so that we only show each other our good sides............I really usually think about my blog and bloggers but how i for do naa ehn????
i notice lots of people dont blog anymore,why now??Aleesha's mum says she's leaving.she's been threatening us like that sha but i am scared she is for real this time cos she's talked about taking her blog down

On another note,i was on my way to work,stopped over at ghana high commission to eat(who knows that place?),and saw different children on the road that couldnt be more than 3 years old going to school on his own,infact this life is just cruel.i dont know how some people feel so comfortable doing that when some other people are so desperate to have kids.I looked at that situation and found one more reason to thank God irrespective of my situation.
In all situations,please give all the glory,honour and thanks to God Almighty!!!
Compliments of the season to y'all

Choice of songs!!!!!

2009-09-13T12:18:00.003+01:00

Eyin temi(this reminds me of LG),we are planning this wedding together oh.You know the notice abi confirmation is really short so i need all the help i can get
I'd like to dance with my single friends before throwing the bouquet,i need you to suggest 2correct songs,i was thinking of single girls by beyonce,what else??Instead of throwing the bouquet,i am thinking of giving my friends a rose each to just show them how much i wish every single one of them the best oh not just the person that catches the bouquet,what's your take?

So what songs are we dancing in with?i am thinking of bumper to bumper by wande Coal,it has nothing to do with love or marriage but i love the song and one can dance to the beats.am thinking it would be like 10mins so we need a max of 3 songs.make una help me oh if not i will just put only Mo hit songs there,i have been feeling "ten ten" since it came out,I love those people to bits and i don't even know why.

I need songs to dance with my mum,i desperately have to dance with my mum,i already have iya mi (D'Banj) and Mama(Eldee) suggested

I think i have a gift i have not been able to properly identify,i am able to say something and it happens or i am able to think something and it happens,its not even necessarily something i want but i just have that nagging feeling or thought,like there are so many things i have always known and they happened to me eventually.ironically,i don't dream about these things,i only dream of stupid things like going to London by road and having fun all the way.u know really meaningless things like that.i don't really know how to explain it,anyway the only thing i have been thinking about lately that has been scaring me is that i am going to have twins.it's a scary thought oh abeg...

I can smell anything in this world,my sense of smell is too strong,way too strong,i can smell if someone is on their period,i can tell what perfume u are using from miles away(if i know it)

Never say never oh,did i ever tell u people i went for my friends wedding and her hair was more than fantastic,guess how much she did it??3k!!!!i almost fainted,i need to know my way around this Lagos oh!!

I have been so OVERLY stressed,my voice even completely broke down,i couldn't talk but i know i will be fine in the end......Thank you all for your love and support
Have a beautiful week ahead

My struggles,Job,moving on...........

2009-08-30T18:33:00.005+01:00

So so much has been going on in my life,the "struggles" i talked about have kinda started,people are already having dreams...my favorite aunt wants me to come to her church for 3days where fasting and prayer will go on cos she and her daughter dreamt world people are trying to kill either me or my mum......my bro dreamt 2 guys were trying to harm someone,he didn't see them or who they were trying to harm he only saw they were men...my mum heard from someone some people are targeting the both of us but we shouldn't worry my dad is taking it upon himself to fight for us....i have been hearing so much i am even scared of telling beau before he will just run away..lol...someone even said the reason why it was compulsory we go ahead with the wedding is cos of beau's father,he likes me too much and the disappointment might kill me..........we haven't started discussing my dad's property yet oh...my sis is trying to get into LUTH,my mum tried calling one of my dad's friend that knows the health minister and that one is already acting up.......he kept saying he didn't know who was talking on the phone (over 3days) and kept hanging up....my people,it is well,i am even tired of giving you bad news....

On a positive note,i have finally gotten a new job and a blogger is my new colleague.....how nice
We have also gone to the registry and it was more fun than i thought it would be,i only told my sis and bro but beau was so happy, he was holding me throughout,all over the place, told quite a number of close friends(he has soo many "close" friends) and quite a number have been calling the both of us to say it's not fair we
didn't tell them...our wedding(though intended to be very small now) is still holding in October by the special grace of God Almighty.I have a feeling i am going to be crying throughout on that day but i seriously and sincerely hope not so as not to ruin my pictures for the sake of my darling kids......i am going to need a lot of suggestions for songs i and my mum can dance to,it is COMPULSORY i dance to a song with my mum,please who remembers the title of this song dbanj did for his mum,pleeease i need more suggestions...infact i will do a post on this so start thinking

On a lighter note,this ish happened on the day of my interview - when i was 5mins away,i called beau to ask where to park and he kinda snapped "it wasn't my business,i should allow d driver worry about that",i was a bit tense cos i had been tense about my dad so he got me someone to drive me since it was first thing in the morning and guess he didn't want funny break downs or what not.the situation reminded me of weeks before when i was "harassing" my colleague to stop disturbing her husband.she had a flat tire and there is a vulcanizer right beside our office that we all know and she called the man to tell him "she had a flat tire,what should she do?"the other day lasthma arrested her and she called him to beg the guys.......i think its funny that women call their men when they are in situations the men cant possibly solve from where they are,it might not make sense but we still do it anyway.
What's your take?

So i got me a new daddy....

2009-08-14T10:47:00.003+01:00

I really don't know how to receive or deal with pity/sympathy.infact i am outright lousy at it except very few people that understand to send me mails and i can reply and be crying on my own at the same time as opposed to talking/crying
I am terribly sorry i didn't give out my number to anyone that just asked,that's because i didn't even pick calls from anyone,if what i have gotten as txt is an indication of what i will hear then i can't handle it,i don't want anyone to tell me sorry or sympathize with me,i don't want anyone asking me if he was ill for a short time or long time,i don't want anyone telling me what we should have done or not done,i don't want anyone telling me he's in a better place cos no one knows for sure where he is,i don't want anyone asking me "so what's going to happen now",i just don't want to talk about it.In the event i wasn't picking calls,everyone started calling beau's phone to sympathize with him,all of his office pips and friends now somehow somehow knew and even those i had never seen started sending me txts.i was overwhelmed by the love/support.infact beau joked that "later,i will be forming "kindly don't intro me as your wife cos we aren't married yet",he has this habit of intro me as his wife all d time now and am like ...chill now.let it be true first.that shey i should see now,people are "consoling" him too

I havn't gotten over it and i never will completely but of course my life must go on,i am learning to deal with it,i still wake up in the middle of the night just to cry,infact an hour after i heard of his passing on(btw,i heard from a total stranger that has never called me before in her life...........mystery of the world),i was so terribly hungry i felt like i would faint,i didn't wanna eat so as to punish myself so i could feel physical pain as much as the emotional but then the headaches came in,i became dizzy,we had to bury same day......beau begged me to eat,i Didi have appetite but i ate.That is just to tell you that "Life goes on......."
I am hurting but i cant even imagine what my mum is going through,she's the one that vowed to be with him forever,her parents are still alive at over a 100 so its unbelievable she's a widow at half their age.I saw a clear demonstration of pure and undiluted love,i saw the true definition of vows,in SICKNESS and in health,i had to ask myself over and over again if i could be this selfless in my marriage,it's easier Blabbed/said than done i tell you.My mum slept in the hospital everyday,prayed unending,fasted unending and even with the outcome,she is still praying,her fate hasn't shaken.i tell u i haven't been able to fast one more day cos asides the fact that i am hurting,i just don't have the stamina,God sees my heart.

I miss my daddy oh,i really do.he is the only one that calls me more than once every single day when i am abroad,i remember telling odee i will dance to my baby girl by nel Oliver with my dad @ my wedding,we had even practiced once at home.......my mum is now practically ALONE!!!she has 3kids working,another in UNI and another in boarding school,she has said my sis cant go back to boarding school for at least a year......it's just painful what she has to go through.she is going to be really bored,there will be no one to rub minds with,discuss issues,even fight with.she's already involved in a lotta religious activities so i don't know what to suggest,i don't even know how she will eat,my parents ate together every day and night,i even do same with beau cos that's what i grew up knowing
I call her everyday and i have practically run out of things to say to cheer her up,my mum is d kind that complains she'd rather see u face-face than discuss over the phone,she has to learn to adapt now,i miss my mum telling me "i have to go,daddy is calling",i miss my happy mum,i miss my daddy,i am the first person that calls my daddy on his birthday every year and his birthday came and all i did was cry.I saw a note in my dad's car that stated how much he wanted to spend on my wedding amongst other projects he wanted to execute.I trust that God is always God but why did he take my daddy now?
I have even asked God that was it that if he didn't go,it would have been me and my dad chose to go over me,as God has allowed this to happen,i strongly believe its for a good cause but i need him to show me that cause so i can be relaxed,i am actively waiting to hear it.

My dad wasnt buried where he asked to be buried for a silly excuse......some random distant relation in the village chose the place......i don't like the spot,am sure he doesn't too but what does it matter?i might never even go there to see him cos he's always in my heart anyway
I will never forgive the Nigerian Government cos he got the infection that complicated his post-op when they went on strike,if i ever get into government,a lot of people will jailed for life if they ever commit any fraud against the health sector.
Beau says he's scared/worried i am keeping all the hurt inside and he doesn't know what my bursting would be like but i say i am not,truth is i just don't think so,i have never known how to express my feelings intensely anyway
I got lots of nice mails and i thank you all,36 practically warned me to be easy where beau is concerned cos after all said and done,daddy,mum and siblings will not be with me,its going to be just the both of us and since relationship forms the basis and foundation for marriage,i should be easy.that's one sound advice i got

I really can't thank y'all enough on blogsville,i am eternally grateful.no one shall experience sorrow in their homes,all our prayers will be answered and my NEW DADDY will never put you through any challenge without staying right there with you.
Have a nice weekend

It's over!!!!!

2009-07-31T13:23:00.004+01:00

So my daddy's life on earth ended last weekend,he has gone to meet God Almighty the father(I hope and pray),its not been okay but just like my co-daddyless(earth) people have adviced,I will be fine eventually.Someone even told me not to finish crying as she still cries till now when she remembers her late mum.I haven't been able to build up my strength to take calls but eventually i will.
My mum is the worst hit because she believes it's an attack but i pray for her to get over it and move on with her life soon.
Thanks and God bless you all

Hopelessness!!!!!

2009-07-16T15:45:00.005+01:00

You know all my life,i have sometimes had disappointments at really crucial/sensitive stages,i have gotten used to them,i have grown a thick skin and i have learnt to cope with it and understand it better.i keep learning how to deal with it everyday,i am not even going to try to recount all my past experiences because i know that God will always be God,if he allows it to happen,then it was meant to happen.
This new one is a bit very very tough for me to cope with but i will,in the end i will be fine,time is a great healer.it has just come at a very very very bad time.

My sister is a medical person,she got the chance to go to the hospital today,she met with the docs,read the case file and medical-medical person,they discussed and she understood all the terms.He has stage 4 oesophagal cancer which is as a direct result of his over 40years of smoking,the surgery he did wasn't curative but palliative,(ease d last days)they expect he should have started healing by now but he went into a form of respiratory distress overnight due to infection bla bla bla and he had to go back into surgery.
She asked for the prognosis(how long he has) and the doctor didn't want to commit himself but he doubted if he could last one year!!!!Now i wonder,y did they make him go through a painful surgery??y are they allowing us spend so much?My father does NOT have his house in order one bit.this sistahas finally stopped talking to me miraculously,i am scared of all the fights,all the struggles,my dad recently sold a house cos he felt like,bought a car and has quite a sum in his account,i can see the issues already.I am tired of crying,i am scared of the ~~Unknown~~ known,i don't know how my mum will cope by herself,the docs told her all these but she never told us,what was she thinking?am thinking she has been in denial!!
i don't know how a lot of things will turn out,i am honestly tired of praying because i feel like a hypocrite when i do,i begged my daddy for years unend to stop smoking but he compared himself to his father that died over 100 and smoked till he died,i have a feeling i would have handled this much better if all of this happened last year or next year.as selfish as it may sound but i am angry,i am very very angry with him.
I placed and order for my gown and it has arrived,i don't even know what to tell the seller but i can see it,there's not going to be any wedding this year or even next year!!
I feel totally hopeless,i am tired of crying everywhere and at every opportunity.This dissapointed feeling at such a crucial time is not foreign to me but I have never doubted my trust in God,i know its for a greater good even if i definitely can't see it now.
I don't even think i want sympathy(comments),i don't know what i want.i am hurting,i feel hopeless but i still believe in God Almighty.he knows best and his will will continually be done in my life.
Thanks for reading till the end.have a good weekend!!!!!!!

Best Regards,
q.money@ymail.com

Pray for my dada......

2009-07-10T12:03:00.004+01:00

Qmoney's word for today
There comes a point in your life when you realize:
Who matters,Who never did,Who won't anymore..........And who always will..
Don't worry about people from your past,there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future......

How are you all today??I have been about the most prayerful person i know in recent weeks
I want you all to join me in thanking God for my father,please help me thank baba God for keeping him alive up till this point.He has been ill and i have been having a difficult time,i was initially scared we might postpone the wedding cos his illness has been quite serious,i have just told a very few people,not been able to talk about it openly,he had a growth that we feared was cancerous and he needed surgery,he was really scared and all of that,he was scared he wasn't fit amongst other fears...............they have done the surgery and it was a success,he's now in ICU,he is been a very very stubborn and heady patient,trying to remove his oxygen mask to prove he is strong and he turns around gasping for breath,someone was there thankfully, health workers have gone on strike........*sigh*I just thank God for his faithfulness in the midst of all this.

My mum hasn't done a thing towards d wedding cos she has been busy taking care of her husband,as much as i complained bitterly when she was preparing for intro,i miss her stress now,i'd rather have her stressing over what to wear and what not to wear than have her sleeping on the floor in the hospital overnight,getting bitten by mosquitoes and what have you..................please pray for him,me and my family in general

Meanwhile,Beau chose this period to get lost in work and forgot to call me on the day of the surgery+ the day after to ask after my dad and even how i am coping,i took out all my anger and frustration in me on him including telling him to f%$#^&* go to blazes!!!!
He now just calls my mum(not me) daily to check on him/her...........God knows if we hadn't done intro i'd have told him "it's over"!!!
I confess one of my weaknesses in this relationship was always to break up in the face of anything i think Unforgivable.
I am soooo upset, i am now worried about getting married,it just scares me i can start feeling trapped or something.I mean why would i want to spend the rest of my life with someone that can be that non-challant in this trying period????or am i over-reacting?maybe i am jus pmsing at the moment or whatever.........
have a nice weekend y'all

5 Mistakes Women Make - By Ekene Agabu (Conclusion)

2009-07-01T10:44:00.003+01:00

Qmoney's word for today
Ladies and Gentlemen..listen wen i say this,if you really want to find the 'one' you need to let go of the 'zeros'

This series was suppose to be in 3 parts but i have posted in 2 since a lotta people have seen it already.please read to then end of you haven't

Your Personal Standards! Don't leave home without them!

By not setting your standard, you’ve just set the standard. The standards I speak of are not standards for the relationship; I speak of your personal standards irrespective of the relationship. What is your life’s moral compass? This could get a bit confusing, so let me explain. Often times, at a certain point in life, people turn to religion for some sort of moral guidance or law. It’s an acknowledgment of some sort that they have made numerous personal mistakes and are in probable search for a turn around. So you might have a young lady who’s been around the block and has now become a Christian, and professes that she will be celibate until she gets married thereby claiming this new belief to be her standard. This is a religious belief that she has now adopted and not a personal standard. Your personal standards are born and realized from
within you and become your principles rather than a law. A principle is born out of understanding; an understanding of who you are and why you are here on this earth. If you are roaming the earth like a lost sheep in search of a man to give you relevance, you will always find yourself jumping from relationship to relationship with each one leaving you even more confused than you were in the beginning. But when you understand that you are not here by chance and your presence on this earth has significant relevance, the aura about you changes and the people and things you accept into your life will only be a reflection of your internal essence or your personal standard. A man can cause you to go against a belief because it was never yours in the first place, but he can never sway you away from your principle because you are one with your principle. A lady who lives from her principles takes personal responsibility for her own actions and responses. She takes charge and never leaves her fate to the opinions or actions of men. She doesn’t go on a date with every man that asks her out because she doesn’t need a man – she would want a man but she fully well understands that her worth is solely appraised on who she is
and not who she’s with. She would not change her principle to have or keep a man. She’s doesn’t need to sleep with a man to have or keep him. She understands that whatever she can’t get by way of her principles will never be her own. That you are sleeping with a guy does not mean he’s yours. If you had to sleep with him to keep him, he was never yours in the first place. In the absence of your personal standards, you end up trying many things and many people, but you never experience the love that is already within you. Allow that love within to write your standards and begin to live from them. That love will never lead you astray, never ever!

Why are you making excuses for him…..again?

I have come to observe that ladies often see the man as the prize. So once it looks like they have him – especially if he appears to be a good one – they want to do everything in their power to keep him. I understand that, but I don’t accept that and neither should you. You are the Prize. We should fight over you and want to do things to get and keep you. We should want to make sure you are ok. A man who loves and respects a woman will never want her in doubt when it comes her knowing of his feelings towards her. When we are crazy about a woman, we are no longer the reserved and non emotional creatures you think we are. We become a mess - drooling internally when we think of you. We would never want you to feel you are on shaky ground concerning your status with us. We will publicly profess and show you to the whole world. We will put up a picture with you in it as the our profile pic, tag you in all photos you appear in and most importantly make sure that our status box shows that we are in a relationship with you. Yup, that’s what we do when we love you - we say it out LOUD! And when we are out and
about with you, our professions are usually crystal clear: ‘Meet my girlfriend, Sandra’ or ‘Meet my fiance, Sandra.’ Not, ‘Meet Sandra’ who is Sandra??? When we love you, we want the world to know that we love you. But I get amazed when ladies see the writing on the wall and continually make excuses to justify a man’s blatant abuse towards them. What do I mean? Take for instance the introductions highlighted above; He introduces you as just ‘Sandra’: you know you don’t like it, but you make an excuse within yourself and say, ‘he’s a private kinda guy, he doesn’t like to publicly show stuff.’ Really? Ok, let me ask,
“Are you enrolled in midnight gymnastics with him?” In other words has he bent your body in ways you didn’t think possible? Well, there is only one thing worse than a guy sleeping with a woman in secret; and that is, a woman allowing that to happen.Before you allow a man do to you privately what can affect you publicly, he must first of all acknowledge you publicly as the
woman he respects and loves. If he can’t do that, you need to tell me why you are still sticking around. How can you allow a man to knock you up when you are just ‘Sandra’ to him? You know you deserve better, so stop the excuses. Instead of making excuses for him, take charge – not of him or the relationship, but of yourself. Never remain in an environment where your integrity is compromised. Remember, you are the prize and we should work hard to get and keep you. And after all our hard work, you still have a right to say NO.

Why are you looking for ‘something’ in a bag of ‘nothings?’

A few years ago, a friend who was engaged was getting ready for her wedding which was just a couple of months away at the time. She called me occasionally during the preparation process, but on this one phone call, things were pretty bad. She was mad, upset, disappointed and unhappy that she was marrying this guy. So I asked her why she was still going on with the
wedding if she felt the marriage wouldn’t work out. She said to me that she did not want the last four years of her life spent with him to go to waste. Hmmm! When she said this, I looked at my phone because I couldn’t look at her (she was in a different city) and in that instant – if I had a private jet – I would have flown to her city to give her a knock on her head - not a hard one, just a gentle knock - to help tilt her brain back to the center of her skull, because obviously it seemed
out of balance with what she had just said to me. Let’s think about this, You are willing to screw up the next 50 years of your life, create babies in a hostile environment with a man you despise thereby screwing up the next generation, raising kids that would need therapy for the rest of their lives based on the abuse they will experience in that home, all because you don’t want the last four years of your life - 1,2,3,4 - to mean nothing (I’m having a headache just rehashing the story).
So you are trying to create a love marriage from a four year crappy relationship. Needless to say, this lady was a young beautiful 28yr old lawyer. With good life habits she could easily live another healthy 50 years (Have you seen Barbara Walters lately? She’s 80). And here you are, willing to mortgage a future on four years with this jerk? She was desperately trying to make something out of nothing. That you’ve been in a long term relationship does not mean you should continually stay in it. Unfortunately for some ladies, it takes a while to see the light and muster up courage to get out of a bad situation. But when you see the light; RUN, GO, your life deserves it. If you don’t make that change, you’ll never know what’s out there? And when I say out there, I don’t mean what’s out there in another relationship; I mean what’s out there in you that you are yet to discover. Some of you ladies are afraid – afraid that you might not be married by a certain time. You begin the calculations, ‘Ok, I’m 28 now, if I break this up, how long will it take to find another guy and get married? Oooh! It may take another 4 years and I’ll be 32. No! I can’t be single at 30.” You are killing yourself with this kind of dialogue. Like she later said to me, she always saw herself married by 29. Needless to say, she was divorced by 29. They got
married alright, but their divorce was made final before a possible 1st wedding anniversary. Sometimes we allow fear to dictate what we should do. We will never get from fear what love has to give. Love is bold, confident and fearless. Why are you scared? Why are you letting fear keep you in a relationship that you know you don’t want? Why do you want to marry a guy who has already made you feel like trash? Why are you choosing to be with someone you are not crazy about? Ok, so you are more concerned about looking good and successful on the outside at the expense of how you truly feel on the inside. You are too special for that. Let people think what they think, you know what you know and that’s all that should matter. Sometimes, we don’t believe; we don’t believe in ourselves, so we settle and then try to make something out of nothing. You can’t change another human being, it’s impossible. You haven’t even changed some things about yourself; how then do you think it possible to change another?

You’ve gotta think before you have his baby!

Often times when I’m in conversation with one of my numerous lady friends, something always cracks me up. I know they been having sex for years in and out of relationships and that fact is not hidden between us. But on some occasions, when I ask them if they have been pregnant before, their voice takes on a new tone of ‘How dare you?’ And then there is a resounding NO,
like, ‘how could I get pregnant?’ Wait a minute! Am I missing something here? If you are having sex – sexual intercourse, you are potentially making a baby. You are filing an application. As soon as he ejaculates into you, the application is submitted and the outcome of that process is no longer left to you or him but to the Department of Conception. And if they approve it, you become pregnant whether you want it or not. Sex is not just about the pleasure derived, neither is it an antidote for loneliness. Sex is Responsibility; meaning you will have to respond to the outcome of that sexual encounter and sometimes it could be a lifetime of responses especially when a child is conceived. And when that child is born, you will forever have a symbol representing your union with your ex. Once a child is conceived, there is no moving on from that relationship. It begins the strongest bond known between a man and a woman. That man holds a special place in your heart regardless of how you feel about him today. You may have an abortion in trying to cut any future ties to this man, but may I have you know that the power of conception outweighs the power of birth. For something to be born, it has to be conceived. We are all on this earth first because of conception then birth. Without conception they will be no birth but without birth there can be conception. A strong bond is created when you allow a man’s sperm to start life within you. It is a major privilege to give to someone and not everyone should have that kind of access to you. If a man is horny and wants to be relieved, tell him to use his hand.
You are no object and certainly no substitute for a man’s hand. So if you don’t want to have his baby, don’t make his baby.

I know there’s Pressure, but why are you under it?

I have come to observe that whether she’s 21 or 29, she always feels she’s running out of time. One thing you must understand is that pressure is not real. You are real and when you give attention to or come under the dominance of something that is impotent, you give it potency – you give it power. That is why this thing we call ‘pressure’ has the effect it has. You give
it the effect. You are the effect. Sometimes we are driven by those voices of ignorance that may have come from people we love, so we try hard to get into a relationship and make it work. “Oh! This one has to work cos I’m almost 30.” Screw him and screw 30. You are more valuable to yourself and to the world than the timeline of your eggs or your age. Your world will not
come to an end if you are not married by 30; in fact, it may just be beginning!
A few years ago, a lady friend of mine, who was 21 at the time called me up to talk about her ‘man' troubles. During our conversation, I observed that she had always been in a sexual relationship since she was 15. She confessed to me that she didn’t want to be alone; actually she didn’t know how to be alone. You see, you do yourself a huge injustice when you spend your formative years interrupted. Sex interrupts. It stops your creative and intellectual development and gives strength to your emotional cravings which should still be asleep. Your formative years are years you spend forming your person and your identity in readiness for your service to the world. Unfortunately, ladies give that time and space to some guy – a guy who may not even be in your life past your 30th birthday.Have we as men failed you? Oh yes we have! As fathers some of us weren’t present in your young life. As uncles, instead of being fond of you, we fondled you. As friends we were more focused on the benefits instead of the sacrifice. We used you when
we should have added value. We took advantage instead giving the advantage. We failed you quite all right, but you don’t have to do to yourself what we did to you – You don’t have to fail yourself. You can’t afford to fail yourself. You are the door to humanity. Life has to go through you to enter this earth. Even God needed a woman to come back into the world.
There’s no need to dumb yourself down or compromise your true integrity. We need the true you. We can’t exist without you and
we will adjust to whatever standard you set for us – so why not make it high, why not make it YOU?

5 Mistakes Women Make........from a man's point of view!!!!

2009-06-24T11:53:00.001+01:00

I had 17comments in 24hours after my last post,that's definitely a first,it has never happened on my blog before.i thank you all for your well wishes,i really thank you all.Please enjoy my next 3 series.It was culled (isn't that what i see in mags?) from facebook.Enjoy..........

Qmoney's word for today
Whatever u give a woman,she multiplies it. if u give her love,she'll give u a baby.if u give her a house,she'll give u a home.if u give her a smile,she'll give u her heart.she multiplies and enlarges whateva u av given her.So if u give her crap,she'l give u tonnes of shit.................

5 Mistakes Women Make - By Ekene Agabu(A MAN)

Before I begin or rather let you into what I have written, I must confess that I had completed this article months ago but was a bit apprehensive in publishing it. I didn’t want to come across as being judgmental and if after reading this you feel judged or put down as a woman, please excuse my unskilled delivery, for that is not my intent. And if you feel that I have crossed the line as man sharing these with you, do not hesitate to express your disdain for my impetus.
Having said that, I feel qualified to write this as a man because I stand as an unbiased observer and also one who has had the opportunity to take advantage of these mistakes. But I must confess, we as men have been @$#*%*$ . Where we should have given, we took; where we should have loved, we lusted and where we should have preserved, we devoured. As a Man, I must call myself to higher standards. Before I touch you, I must respect you like my mother, protect you like my sister and look out for your best interest like my baby – after all, that’s what I call you when I want you! We’ve failed to realize that the significance of our masculinity does not lie in how many girls we can dis-virgin but rather the honor we can bestow upon one. We fail to understand that the purpose of our strength and dominance is to defend and protect not to attack and destroy.
But the first mistake was not yours. You were born into a world that didn’t even give you the chance - the chance to be who you really are without any pressure or expectation. From day one you were unconsciously groomed from childhood to be an acceptable accessory to a man’s life. You were constantly made conscious of a false milestone that suggested your value was based upon a man finding you worthy to be his, instead of being made aware of who you are by virtue of your own unique existence. Your worth as a woman was reduced to two things; being a wife and your ability to bear a child – and in some cultures, you had to bear the right type of child. And if per chance you failed in one of these areas, you were nobody, no one – you were nothing.
Unfortunately, along the way, you may have made some mistakes in trying to fulfill this false notion of who you are supposed to be. Bad relationship after bad relationship continually emphasized the lie that you were nothing without a man. Not only do you sit there as one with mental wounds from childhood, but also with hurts and wounds that are self inflicted as you sincerely tried to fulfill the so called destiny of the woman – being someone’s woman.
As I share this with you, I do not come as one who claims to understand your plight, but rather I stand as one who has heard you. From my mother to my aunts to my cousins and my friends, I have heard you and will continue to listen whenever you speak.
That being said, I do not believe we are responsible for the things that are done or said to us, but I do know that we are responsible for allowing those things continue in us. It’s in this light that I share with you the five common mistakes women make in relationships.

*******To be continued

Iyawo.......Introduction gist!!!

2009-06-17T15:00:00.002+01:00

Hello people,thank you so much for your comments,i appreciate the suggestions,kindly go back and read the replies.we shall be planning this wedding together God willing

Before i totally forget the details as much as possible,my introduction went well.
I was nervous 2days before but by a day before,activities had taken over my nervousness
Beau was supposed to buy fruits so the plan was for him to take the Friday off to get ready and lo and behold,i called at 10a.m and he was at work,he had soooooooooooo much to do and there was no way i could help cos i had a lot to do myself,then at a point my mum called me and said she wanted me home early cos we were suppose to have a meeting bla bla bla,she wanted me to see the engagement list that would be given to the, be calm at home and confirm the date we have both chosen for the wedding so they can respond adequately, this meant i had to travel earlier than planned.I called and we argued over the fact that he was overstressed then i wanted to confirm the 10th of October verbally not just by mutual understanding and he snapped at me, argument entered,it's not may fault u always wait for last minute.........bla bla bla........i didn't call him again and by the time i got home,he was no longer reachable on phone,i didn't bother too much but after 2hours,he still couldn't be reached then i panicked,then like 3hours later,his brother called me that he has been trying to call him so they can plan their movements for Saturday and he couldn't be reached,next his dad called me and i told him i didn't know where he was,i told my mum and she just started praying then me i started crying.this was like 10pm at night oh,like 15mins later,i called his brother, i had been calling every 20mins and he told me he was on another phone talking to their dad,i was so upset,i just went to sleep,i woke up and saw 10missed calls and plenty sorry messages on my phone.i was totally not mad at him anymore,i really didn't want us to on not talking terms so i called in the morning,he was fine,very tired,told him that was the price for last minute,then my aunts and uncles started trooping in,my dad said he was telling no one but we saw like 10 of his friends from waaaaaaay back,a trailer fell on the express so there was traffic on the road + MFM & redeem people that were held back cos of the same trailer thingy as well,they were suppose to get to ours at 10a.m,by 9,his dad was already agitating....hurrying him up...they didn't want to be late but trust my last minute man,i honestly never bothered to ask what exactly delayed them but they didn't get to ours until like 12:30 at which time ,my alaga(mediator) was already talking about fining them.............lol
Now cos they were late,our own people had been at ours since like 10 so we had to serve food(totally unplanned for)i was sleeping at this time cos my mum told me not to go out,she didn't want anyone seeing the bride and i was too bored sitting in the room so i slept so they started serving food,like 20people or so ate before the event started.
Before i forget,i went to the mediator and told her "no money collection" for the umpteenth time and as she was trying to disagree with me,my dad walked in on us and instructed her to do whatever i wanted as d day belongs to me
They came,no money collection at the gate,no form of extortion whatsoever and then the event started,they introduced my parents and S-U-R-P-R-I-S-E.................................Beau's dad started spraying my parents money,thought we didn't want any form of money collection abi??beau looked at my mum and she looked at him right back cos he could read through her mind(tot u and ur wife didn't want money bla bla bla??)
After that,there was d spraying galore,i heard they intro themselves then beau came in,prostrated 6times or something funny,his dad had to go all down to prostrate to my father as well,i didn't like that part at all at all cos his dad is 75 and my dad is just 61,they should make just d bobo do it joooo,by the time they called me out,they sprayed me again,his dad is really very fond of me,maybe cos d guy is always making me do all his errands in this Lagos,i greeted everyone,my mum and dad prayed for me and then my step mums and i was making money all the way,for everyone that intro themselves,they had to drop and guess what happened to the ALL the money??the alaga carried it away
(Xcept the one my sister picked wen they were spraying me),my mum says that's d tradition,they told him to carry me then asked "Wetin u carry"??his answer "my wife"..kilonbge???igbeyawo.................
everyone intro themselves,we prayed some more............then there was the closing prayer!!
Time to serve came and we had to serve our in-laws first so after they were served,the plates finished,we had planned for 70 guests(Expecting 40) but there were like 100 guests then u know some people had eaten upstairs before,those ones ate again downstairs,thank God there was swallow cos left for the rice,it was not enough.
Then i think all my mum's siblings didn't eat,they had to go and make semo again for them, the caterer didn't just have foresight at all at all and it was suppose to be a test for her,she definitely can't handle the wedding,(the plates finished too). maybe just engagement.then thankfully,i had small chops(Though he was mega LATE) so that kinda sufficed again for the youths,they all liked it or maybe they were pretending cos i have DELETED his number from my phone,it was crap,the Chapman tasted like limca, goldspot and colouring as far as am concerned but everyone loved it.i paid for 50cups and my mum was saying i should have made 70.lol
All in all,guess we had a good day,beau with his big mouth was now asking my mum if she has now given him license to give her grand-kids...........see question and my mum had d effrontery to say Yes,i told him to better pay Bride price first.........hehehehe
All in all sha, i had a good day, i was calm and pretty too
I can now officially be called bride to be!!!!Thank God for everything, i still need your prayers oh,that sister i talked about here didn't show up or call (till now) for reasons best known to her.i really am not bothered by it,i am just giving u people as part of the gist
Enjoy the cool weather y'all

Lets plan!!!!!!!

2009-06-01T12:17:00.008+01:00

Thanks a lot for your comments on my other post,i felt like i was yarning child's and to grow up asap!!!

So its my introduction this weekend and i think my mother's excitement pressure (yup,her excitement was putting me under duress,....lol) has kinda put me in excited mode (smaaaaaaaaaaaall) though we've had lots of disagreements.i even threatened her i am not coming before the event again,i will ride with my in - laws (to be) that are coming cos her own is just too much.i think she mellowed when i said that one, now she's going to get and alaga (mediator) and they are coming with drums!!!I just really pray they don't get me all frowning and stuff cos i tend to do that easily, even if i dont say a word,it doesnt mean i have changed my mind. she now set me up with my dad,once dad says that's his final decision,it can't be questioned!!
I have a feeling they will ask for money at the entrance or those "Taxing" during engagement things and i think that's really EMBARRASSING, it will make us look like we are hungry or something.hehehehehe

I am all good sha but i have always had this nagging feeling or is it premonition that i and beau wont be talking on our wedding day as per he'd have done something to offend me and we'll just be forming all the smiles and what have you,we've hardly argued this month except of course when i briefed him of my mum's aso ebi and caterer and things and he told me i was just
pretending i didn't like all the hullabaloo,i am happy with it,its my thing cos i actually like attending parties......owambe and what have you.i feel weird cos i am actually keeping a bit of a distance,been over nice and he sent me a txt saying "if i am this apprehensive over just intro,i shouldn't bail out on him on the wedding day oh"...that actually made me laugh!!Little do u know,i am not apprehensive over nada,i don't even think i will be over my wedding,it feels due to me!!u don't date someone for 5years and expect the person to still be anxious and overjoyed or maybe its just me sha.........

On a lighter note,I have chosen my colours and just incase you havn't noticed,that's what i have edited my blog to look like now,I'd like derivatives of green for lace(i.e mint green or grass gress or baby green or royal green or lemon green).....whatever and orange for gele(sky orange,peach...) or whatever i end up calling it but its going to be shades of green and orange.
Beau's sister called me to just ask how i am and ask what colours i want to choose so we(the both of us) can choose a colour that will blend or even the same colour for them.i told her i will come and see her to discuss.I was thinking of telling them to use a shade of green gele or maybe gold gele,what do u people think?????COlours of the day will be mint green,orange and gold..............hehehehe
I want to do gele and lace or print for my friends,what do u guys really think?Lace or Print(i.e ankara or woodin or java or hollywoond...bla bla) My mum already agreed to do orange aso oke for her friends,i went to the market over the weekend and didnt really see anything i like.a friend suggested i choose the print and have them make it for me,it will take 6weeks!!All i sha know is that i want an orange and green or a shades of green wedding!!
Tobenna, am i still parayarning??? LOL
Have a good week y'all and remember to pray for me.Thanks and happy new month

Fast catalyst, Patience,The Male Brain

2009-05-25T09:46:00.006+01:00

I have promised myself i will not be a venter in my life anymore but this just takes the lead.
I should do one of this memes one day that tell you a lil bit about me.Here are 2things relevant to this gist, i come from a polygamous family and my daddy has quite a temper.......i think i got it from him self but thank God for God,i don cool down a lot,if not!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A few years back,my sister wanted to get married but as at the time she came forward to my dad, she was already pregnant,heavily pregnant for that matter so my dad told her she had to have her baby first as he didn't have money for this rush rush matter, she did just the introduction,did registry, had her baby,carnival like naming ceremony and she didn't push for d wedding again.
Fast forward to now,i called everyone last weekend(I even told my blogfamily b4 them,see how much i love una?) to inform them officially of my intro oh.Everyone congratulated me and we just generally gisted.thing is we are not all that close so they even chopped my credit cos i had to gist with them a bit,i called this particular sis and she was so very cold,she complained daddy hadn't called her to tell her,why am i d one calling her?even my mum didn't deem it fit to call her(as she's high and mighty),no one had told her and i said,i don't have those details but maybe daddy will call her later.
Apparently,daddy had told her sisters and brother but i think she dint pick her phone or bla bla bla but it was one of her "full" sisters that called me and told me to call everyone individually so they wont biff me that i was too proud to call even if daddy had called(See drama),sister sha called daddy and RAKED,told daddy he is very wicked,how can he do a wedding for me after he said he dint have money for her????BEAT DAT?????I have never ever in my life heard of such evil considering we didn't really have polygamous problems while we were growing up,my mum didn't give me the gist immediately cos she thought i will call her and rake,she just told me and i am so very shocked right now.
I promptly sent a txt to my elder bro (half) that "what is this i am hearing again",he sha called their mum and the mum called me and was begging me,i should pretend i dint hear it,she is shocked that kinda thing came from her,all she said isn't a representation of her side of the family,it was all thought about by her,its not as if i am pregnant so our situation isn't similar
My blogpeople,enemy plenty pass ota oh(ota is yoruba word for enemy as well),who say make i no fast??i have been fasting once weekly but i want to try and make it 2ice weekly now,i was praying and fasting against external enemies before but now i have to include the ones that are right within!!!I know this is really petty but i promptly her number from my phone cos i dont want to have anything to do with her again abeg.shuo, wetin be my own?i told my own siblings(full) and they told me to restore the number so i will know not to pick her calls.lol
That is the story of my life ooh.God help me and help us all
Solomonsydelle,u were offering FFF prayers from your mum,please tell her to pray with me as well oh,no amount of prayer is too small or too much.thanks
Infact, now more than ever before,i don't want a wedding website,am sure there are some other evil people that wont even open their mouth to tell me, shebi i should be grateful God exposed her thoughts!!

On a lighter note, See me see trouble,my nonsense brother came from unilag during the day while i was at work,(i actually asked him to come to my house cos the plumber wanted to do some things in the house) packed all my newly made jollof rice and 6pieces of turkey(Seriously that is a lot seeing i buy just one kilo at a time), my mum happened to call me as i was getting home and already salivating over dinner.i realized and i was just so angry,he didn't even wash d pot after taking the food.my mum was now consoling me that i should bone jare, what if it was husband's brother??am like....when he isn't on drugs,its only my brother that can have that kind of liver oh.My people, that's how she launched into plenty preaching of patience!!I cant talk to my husband's bro the way i talk to my own siblings,in my mind i was thinking "for what now",i was thinking more on the likes of they will enjoy the privileges like my own brother(e.g "blackmailing" money out of me even wen i don't have it) as well and will be sent on errands like my own brother too!!we learn daily sha

Have a nice week y'all and let me know what you think about the male brain.lol

Fight with momma,the female brain

2009-05-18T12:57:00.004+01:00

My mum has been taking this intro a bit to far from my liking, granted i am her first child but she is taking the matter too too seriously.not like no one has been married before in my family but they were not her kids so she didn't really have much say.
The first fight started when she said she was telling her siblings,she's got 6 of them(same parents) and am like WTH???it should just be something small,i want just my own siblings since he is coming with just his own siblings,she won the fight over that one,it ended then she went ahead to tell me she was calling caterer,another WTH? why cant we(me and my cousins) make d food??we are not expecting the whole of Nigeria now,she said she didn't want me or anyone stressed besides,she knows me already,i am NOT taking any leave from work and i will travel a day before(its an hour drive from Lagos),i left her then she came up with another one,they should all tie the pink gele (headtie) we used for my cousins wedding last year,at that point i was losing it, we argued and argued, she told me they already had the gele at home so its not a biggie,as for people that don't have,any pink gele will do,she's not asking anyone to buy a new gele and she is not selling,that one ended then she came up with i and beau wearing the same thing,cos of ALL this her drama,i told her that we aren't.
Asides the fact that am not an anko fan,i just thought this thing was getting out of hand and she fought me tooth and nail over that one but sorry my baby is on my side so in her own best interest,don't dabble into our matter.that one ended.
Apparently she was saying that cos she made new aso oke for she and my dad and she wanted to make for us and we have vehemently refused,so what does that say to you??she made new aso oke abi???
I snapped when my aunt,her step sister that my mum says her mum is a witch called me to tell me congrats that my mum just called her.
She was freaking talking about souvenirs and my threat of not dropping 1kobo didn't even faze her so I called her and went on and on,like mummy,what the heck is going on now???wait for the wedding to spend this much on your phone card,food,clothes and what have you??she sha halla'd and i halla'd my own back, she ended up telling me if i know i don't want to introduction,i should forget about it and i told her after this intro,i am not doing anything again cos of her problems,i am going to registry and forgetting about it or if she wants to make it this big,there is no need for it,we will do everything, intro+engagement on the same day.
she sha dropped the phone and were boning each other.next thing i knew she sent me a txt that she was coming to Lagos,this woman doesn't give up,does she??me i was sha very upset cos me and my dad don't understand what she's on and on about abeg!!She has some jobless friends that keep telling her they cant wait to celebrate something with her as she has been there for them,i have warned her though that i don't want to see them at my introduction.
I only want people that have my surname or were nee my surname and people that were nee her surname...C'fini!!!
We have sha resolved the fight oh cos guess am not a troublesome child plus there's really no point now abi?
meanwhile,I am now convinced on the fasting and praying matter oh,will give details in my next post,just that i a slim person and i tend to look skinny and sick when i lose weight.we'll figure out a way eventually

PS:What do u think about the pic?
have a nice week y'all!!!

Introduction,bridal train

2009-05-11T11:37:00.007+01:00

Thank u dear peoples for your last comments,it is my pleasure to inform you that there will be no website and i have chosen not to be bothered about it jare, my friend got married last weekend and she was telling me in d course of planning the wedding,she broke up with her man sef,me i don't want that oh,considering i have done enough of that to last our lifetime!!so am not pushing it,lets see how it goes with my next request

As you must know by now, my introduction has been fixed for 6th of June God willing so we are all looking forward to that.Me and my mum have been fighting (Details in the next post) Naturally,i have been reading wedding planner a lot and most articles i see about weddings and i have really learnt a lot from them,from questions to ask your caterer typical example is u have to attend at least a wedding she caters for and taste d food there,watch how they are organized cos one shouldn't make decisions based on "my friend or cousin thinks they are good" alone!!

Then i have been thinking of my friends and d bridal train a lot,i don't really know how all these things work,a friend i had not seen in 5years asked me to be on her train last year and i didn't refuse the first time she called but i had to much later cos i didn't think we were close like that and her wedding was going to be in okota or something,infact we had not been in touch till it was time for d wedding,i still bought the 2fabrics for the traditional and white wedding though and after the refusal,she hasn't called me to even say hello again,not like i have called her too but that has always been the nature of our friendship.
we were hall mates back in 1st year i uni so we use to talk then,we weren't even close after we stopped been hall mates,she just wanted fine gals (yeah yeah,even if i say so myself) on her train...............
I am so bloody undecided about a bridal train,1st of all i thought I'd have 5 ladies,one from my primary school,one from secondary,one from uni,one from work and one family member.mine or his then i drafted like 2names each from each section so i could ask person a or b but i have found myself changing the list cos there are some people i don't feel that close to.If i call someone and i ask u about an issue and u end up telling me "its all up to u","just pray" and u'll make d right decision or sha sit on d fence shaaaaa,i dont consider u a close enough friend,i understand that there are some really diplomatic people in the word but then..........
I have tried to search my heart very well and the only reason i'd like a train is cos of my pictures and its just d "norm" so i want a train and i don't want to have a bridal train at the same time,i spoke to writefreak about it as she didn't have one and she said it was fine,it wasn't awkward.
I definitely want to have aso ebi though,infact i am having for guys too cos i realize i have not less than 20 male friends interested as well.Please tell me what u think about a bridal train and why

Then i was wondering is it necessary to call someone to tell him/her u aren't coming for her wedding?i think its totally uncalled for but then i might just be wrong.a colleague of mine was on d phone begging a mutual friend she couldn't come and was going on and on about work and am thinking,keep the info to yourself,who cares?what do u think?the one i cant stand is asking someone after her wedding hope she still had fun?like duuuuuh...so cos u weren't there,she wont have had fun??lol

Anyway,me i panic easily atimes and my mum has been scaring me.telling me to start fasting from now(she's been saying that since beginning of the year actually) ,i should give out alms a lot, don't tell any friends any secrets,don't commit abortion,she told me God told her all those things........i was telling beau and what did he say?his sister told him similar stuff weeks ago, that one too is one serious spiro!!

God help us all oh
Have a nice week ahead y'all

PS:pray for naija and our situation oh,the fuel crisis no wan end again!!!

Life changes,wedding website

2009-04-29T11:12:00.003+01:00

I think i am going through some mid life changes....lol
I could talk on the phone non-stop for 2hours to anyone before but now the best i can do is 10mins to everyone and 30mins to beau,i think he's secretly happy about it.
i use to be a very good listener as in,if u are feeling good or blue and u wanna talk about it,am all ears and i realize people seem to wanna talk a lotta times but these days i don't wanna hear anymore,am tired of giving responses like "it is well","just pray" cos am just tired,that is what the people i know want to hear,they are not really interested in the truth, there have been times wen i thought,d guy is an ass,"x" him but cos of the way life is,i just give such responses,now am no longer interested in listening.
I was hanging out with one of my friends and for everytime she tried bring up one "complaining" topic or man trouble topic,i changed d subject,i was almost saying i think u should get a blog cos really someone would always read ur matter and if u are lucky,they will drop a line or 2 and its not by force,they do it at their own will and they don't "Send" u,they will tell u the truth.

It was my 5th year in a relationship on Sunday and i don't believe it,I never ever thought in my wildest dreams it was possible to date someone for 5years,we have never even gone on a break,of course i have had days of "infact,just leave me alone,we are over" but we never got over,we've had several ups and downs,i mean i met beau when i had never been in a relationship and he had been in about 13relationships(plus flings minus secondary school oh) or so,i actually made him tell me about everything when we met but i don't remember the xact number now,the longest was about a year and d gal left him cos her parents were sure he'll never marry her cos she wasnt educated.
Funny enough,i never ever saw him and thought i will marry him oh,I practically went out with him because there was no reason to say No,i wanted to wait till to be in final year uni to have a relationship,i had waited,twas final year,i met him,and he was soo funny then,he's still funny now but a bit rusty.lol,good looking,was working,relatively stable(he had just finished nysc and was working),he fears God.........he was offering to write my final year project since he studied d same course and so i could just concentrate on the coursework.......i think dis quadrupled his points,am jus a lazy ass!!
I thank God for him oh,i thank God for me and i thank God for our lives!!!

This submissive business is not yam oh,beau doesn't want a wedding website and its almost final,i actually don't really know how to beg about this matter cos i know when his mind is made up.infact i think he has been waiting for me to ask,he said he knows i like making noise about all my own things,he likes d low profile,world people aren't as nice as i think,its not everyone wishing us well,its for our own good, he went all superstitious on me oh,i even said i needed to know how many people we were catering for and he said its not a website that will help me.
So now my next strategy is to ask if i can own a blog,that way he doesn't have to contribute any write ups,it will be just me doing the thing and i dont mind abi what do you people think?

ps:I have had every write up for my part of the website for like 6months now.beat that?lol

Bon Anniversary,Disvirgin

2009-04-22T08:45:00.007+01:00

It was my blog anniversary yesterday(how did i miss it?) and i am so happy i made it,i have always had this funny belief that if i am able to keep at something for a year,i will be able to keep at it for longer.my attention span is so short i never imagined i would do this for 3months but the beauty of blogsville is u can never get soo bored and if there is nothing to write,there are soooo many times all i need to do is log into anyone's blog and jus read all d lates posts from several people and i feel a lot better afterwards.i even get inspired to write my next post

I started blogsville on a day i think i was 5mins very angry with beau,i had been planning a getaway for our anniversary(in 4days time) and i think he wasnt co-operating or so......i still dont understand how i can feel 2extreme emotions towards him,there is just this thing about blogsville that takes my mind away from my present environment and i can read, read and read.truth is i read like 100blogs and make comments only at a few.
I finally found d word to describe myself courtesy solomonsydelle i think i am a "venter",i would have had more posts to celeberate today with but the thing is that i get upset,come here veeeeeeeeeeeent,cool down then delete it.horrible huh?
Anyway,the most important thing is that i am happy with blogsville, even when i leave for several weeks,i still feel good when i get back
I notice people leave blogsville cos they are stalked,how do they know those things?i tried to install a widget but i don't even understand it.how do i know who is who?i get plenty enemies oh so lemme know when one is reading abeg.lol

My last post was actually me writing,there was NO guestwriter and i have to say welldone to FFF cos she actually hinted at it and she was right.I claimed it was a guest writer cos for some reason i wanted the truth as much as possible,i assumed everyone will sound like baroque(taking sides with me and stuff) knowing how much y'all love me so i wanted the truth as much as possible.
I am happy i have a blog oh,i almost left when a close friend nabbed me,she promised she wont read again and truth is i dunno if she still does but its okay since she has never asked me about anything here,Thanks about the responses and i wanna believe i have changed a lot towards beau in this short time,not like am really mean to him anyway afterall i don't stay mad at him,i actually have a problem of not been able to stay mad at anyone and unlike my other "Friends" i just avoid,he still gets to talk to me daily:)jus kiddin
Funny enough we have decided June for intro, still don't have d exact dates for d wedding but i guess i feel easier about it.Its sha in October(1st or 2nd week) and by the day of the intro finally,we shall all know d exact it.am no longer fussing about it all thanks to d responses.cool for everyone!!

I have always had this strong believe that time heals all wounds but i am beginning to think it doesn't,it just helps one deal with it better not like it has been healed,there are some wounds that cant be completely healed.
Words really run deep,i have been told some things in the past and after its over,i see the person or just remember outta d blues and it hurts cause am still trying to rationalize why it was said and then i start to analyse and reanalyse on my head.

I dont know why no one thought of giving me most confused blogger cos first i battled with myself that musings was female,now am just gettin used to the fact that he's male,i realize standtall is female,why did i always thing she is a man?lol.maybe cos of "the activist" or something

Lastly, guess who disvirgined me yesterday click here,guess it was a perfect way to celeb my anniversary cos i have never talked to a blogger before .it was nice,spent over an hour on the phone during working hours, Infact,babe,u are too correct!!Thanks for listening to me!!!

Guest writer shares her experience....

2009-04-02T11:51:00.002+01:00

Hi everyone,thanks for all your responses on my previous post.who missed me and who didn't???I have a guest writer today,she wants to share a story with you people so please tell her what u truly think and how sure you are.lol
I shall come back with my own post next.Its my BLOG-ANNIVERSARY this month.watch out for the loaded post!!!
Please go back to read responses to your comments.i take time doing that thing.lol

A long time ago,a friend described me as having a tempestuous relationship,am far from been that but there are times i just cant help bt feel that way.My fiance still thinks i am very hard on him, he claims i treat him the way i treat other people,not extra special like duuuuh i dont kiss other people for starters.
Thing is i am a very tough person,i cant even really remember the real serious reasons why he says these things but let me give u d only examples i remember now cos they just happened and i felt like sharing. I use a post paid phone without a credit limit so what this means is that technically i always have credit but i am also a very disciplined person,i dont use more than 10k every month as per it is just my rule,now if by the last week in the month,i have used 9k,no one can use my fone again and i mean no one,my bro comes and wants to use my fone and i harass his life and dont allow him,fiance comes and wants to do same and i dont agree as well.............then he goes on and on about how he isnt special,he knows thats my rule but if i had an emergency i would use d phone,yada yada yada and its an issue!
Then i always have what i call "vex money" in my wallet,as per there is dis 1k neatly folded somewhere hidden in my wallet and he knows about this,i only touch the money when its a real emergency,if i need money and i dont have,i look for an ATM,i am strict about not touching my vex money,we are in front of an eatery and fiance needs maybe just N500,he asks for my vex
money and am like NO way!!he should go to an ATM or i should go to an ATM for him and he's insisting its my vex money he wants,am like Helllo?the thing starts becoming a fight and i bone??he says its cos i dont think he's special.NOw i he knows i keep "vex money" for him and there are days he's asking for mine and his,of course he return my money(even doubles it ) but
thats not what i want.there was a time i forgot to replace d vex money and i was stranded, ATM wasnt working,he now made me come alllll d way to his house to get money,i dont like that but heeey,what can i do??any suggestions?

He's d only person(Asides my mum) i talk to everyday of my life,i talk 2 my mum once or twice but i think to him on d average of 5times daily,if he's not calling me to tell me he's hungry and cant think of what to eat at work,he's calling to say he just wanted to check on me,am calling cos of one thing or the other but isnt dat showing he's special enough?
Another thing is he doesnt really like to plan ahead,he just likes things happening their own way or not put too any effort into the planning,Now we are planning to get married and we are only fixing months not dates,he says we can fix d dates 3months to the time,am like what happened to planning ahead,this is my wedding and it has to be properly planned but he says there is no need to fuss over nothing,i know he loves me and wants to marry me but how do i tackle this issue now?i am honestly just tired.i was so mad at him i told him i was not even interestd in any wedding,he should just leave me alone,how can we think us compatible if we cant even sit together,understand each other and agree on things like this and he says it again,i dont treat him specially,i get mad at him just like i would get mad at other people,there is no big deal if the exact
date is made a month later or earlier.i am just tired and don't know what to do,truth is i feel like giving up but then it would be for what reason exactly??help!!!!!!

I think i want to start my own blog too.what do you think?

10mins in ma head

2009-03-06T14:55:00.002Z

I hear the mind can process a lotta things at the same time but these were the things i thought about in the last 10minutes in my opinion.

Yoruba people will say "were dun wo, ko shey bi lomo" meaning its sweet/interesting to watch a mad person perform but not to birth one,i have been sooooo many mad people in lagos and i dont think its intereetsing to watch them,it makes me sad,i cant even look at dem no more.its just sad how u see people walking on the streets,how did they get to that stage?how come they werent caugt when it started?its jus sad,i see som many on my way to work,when i go out during the day,when i am going home at night......everywhere

I have a colleague with her tummy as flat as mine(sue me,i think my tummy is sexily flat...lol) but she has been pouring saliva from all over,she got married like 3months agao so naturally we all know she is pregnant.its really funny how even guys have been teasing her about it but its not funny,now she has a bowl by her side and she spits in it,i think its really y-u-c-k but what can we do?

My sister and her mister have been together for 5years,right from uni days ,they jus finished and they both discovered there are AS.My sista is a medical person so i dunno how dat coulda slipped her mind,they are finding it soooo difficult to go their separate ways,my mum has threatened to go and meet the guy's mum as she's a nurse as well,my sista has been so upset,as a matter of fact,it has been on for almost a year now,my mum's immediate younger sista too had a similar issue wen she was younger,she ended up havin the famous SS child and we lost him,it was no longer jus her pain,even me i wailed when i lost my cousin cos he was such a sweet young man.
Now am thinking,how do i speak to my sister?she says she'll relocate abroad where she will know d genotype of every child before they are born and she wont give birth to any child excpt he's AS at least bla bla bla,its really sad jare,dunno what to do.i cant even tell her to leave the guy cos they are so perfect,they are so close and they so much of friends...

The devil is always responsible for one thing or the other around my colleagues, i think we give him too much credit dis days,a mosquito bit sum1 in front of me during my thoughts and she screamed,the devil is a liar,i have heard people use dat phrase carelessly so many times,u miss ur bus at 6:25am and u know it gets there 6:20 am prompt daily and u call d devil a liar,its snowing all over london and d devil is a liar to d person dat had an interview for d same day but not a liar to people dat got the opportunity to skip work..........
Your ATM expires and u dint notice,u get to the machine while d bank is still opened so of course u can enter inside but the devil is lying.

When i disagree seriously with friends and i feel they really hurt me like they said sumtin dat was absolutely false about me,i tend to withdraw,not like i am still holding anything against them or so i thought but i just keep my distance,say hello to u and refuse to have any deep or friendly conversations with u anymore.
sumtin happend between i and a colleague/friend and these same thing happend,she then called me to speak to me,asked me y i had been withdrawn,am i still mad at her?bla bla bla,ironically i dint really know or think i was upset with her but i was happy she realized she hurt me,we dint really talk about the matter cos i dint even want her to apologise,maybe jus to acknowledge it.
I went ahead to tell her other things dat happened to me randomly like me plannin a trip and not telling lots of people till 2 hours b4 my flight(Am a bit secretive+am TIREDDDD of collectin money from the whole world to shop for them,last thing she said was "hope we are cool",i said we always were but thats wen i realized,we werent,i was jus been civil!!!guess we are goin to be friends for along time cos she seems to understand me.
Thats enuf of my head,i need to spend d same amount of time in rethots head,no offence to his latest crush.how do u suggest i do that?lol
Have a nice weekend y'all

Nosyness or concern, submission business

2009-03-03T12:04:00.002Z

Whats d difference between been nosy and been concerned?by nature i am a very curious person,i also know i am a very nice friend.Now in been nice ,i keep in touch with a lot of people, facebook really made my life easier cos i usually had to send txt,call and stuff before,a friend left facebook one time,i was in his neighborhood and i didn't even know how to reach him cos i use to jus get his number from there to call him,i coulda used his email but he changed jobs so even dat couldnt help.
Anyway,i have realized that in my nature to always be in touch,i always talk about myself and expect u to do same but i have a rule that all my friends know me for.u cant gossip with me,how do i tackle this??if i am talking to Oby and u tell me about Nneka,please be rest assured i am going to tell Nneka wat we talked about wen i speak to her as well so everyone knows its unsafe to gossip with me,u only tell me things about sum1 the person sent u or u expect me to know.
E.g telling me about her child's baby dedication or her birthday party or she changed jobs or numbers or stuff.u get?
Now what this means is when am talking to u,we talk about just ourselves and i also have a rule,i am xactly like a mirror of my friends,if u ask me how my dad is,i will ask u how ur dad is as well,if u ask me wen am getting married,i will prolly ask u,if u call me to ask for a caterer's number,i will ask y u need the caterer.Like i said in a previous post,a girl asked me
about my life,i told her,wen i asked her about hers,she felt i was intruding or sumtin of the sort.
If anyone tells me they are gettin married and i know the guy leaves with his parents,the very 1st question i ask is "have u found a house?",its jus a question i ask even without thinkin too much about it and i mean well,but alas,sum1 once told me it was poknosing,i know i am a nice person but people make me think i am really sarcastic effortlessly and i dont do this things
intentionally.but this nosy thing is really bothering me cos am like,wat do you talk about with people if not urselves??dat one feels true concern can be termed been nosy or wat?

meanwhile,dis submission business isnt easy oh,beau hates facebook,i dunno him to be antisocial but he jus thinks facebook is dis,its dat or maybe its my own addiction to it,on d other hand,maybe am jus a slow person or i react slowly,for cryin out loud,when i was like 10 or so,i told my mum shebi one has to eat a lot to be pregnant and have a baby,i felt like having ababy,i was about 24 before i realized where exactly kids come from(dats really really stupid sha if u ask me),i jus neverknew d exact detials,i thought maybe twas from d anus or sumtin.now even if no one is really into facebook anymore,i still go there evytime i can,leave comments,have it on my phone everyhwere.dats how i went to see his dad one day and casually talkd about it on FB,one of his amebo friends went to tell him and he came back to harass me for putting evrthn about my life on fb so rule 1 was dat i couldnt talk about us,introduction,weddin name it on facebook,at first i wasnt bothered but now am like,"hey,na so d thing dey be"?when i put pictures,he says its okay to put the both of us,(a pic of us is his profile pic) but i cant put a pic of jus him........see rules oh.dat one has gone.I was suppose to borrow a friend some money and i jus told him about it,the money isnt much and he needs it for a worthy cause,beau says tell him "end of the month",i tell the guy dat,end of d month came and d guy called me to remind me,i tell beau and he says "no worries",i should give him next week.(dats dis week) am like next week is beginning of another month now and he says cos friday is 27thth,i cant give him saturday so monday.In my head,i am thinking "on top my money again?".and then heeeeeeeeeeeeeey,i jus read writefreak and aloted post on submission oh
so i say okay i have heard,is dis d submission business they are talking about?all dis isnt so much of a big deal yet but i wonder,i just wonder!!!

What's going down this days?

Think again

2009-02-24T08:04:00.007Z

@All,please note that i didn't write those previous letters oh,i got them from facebook. To the best of my knowledge,i am not searching!!!!lol
Find below my letter for the week,i am just too lazy jare, dont mind me!will do a proper post next!!

Dear Friends,

Sometimes in our quest for greatness, we need to make changes and take some steps towards our dreams. However, it would be foolhardy to believe that until we change locations, jobs, relationships, we might not be able to find the joy we are looking for

Perhaps for Michael Owen, who left Liverpool last season to Madrid because of more laurels, the truth is very significant. The same season he left Liverpool was the season Liverpool won the Champions League. It might be a difficult statement but he might never win the Champions league in his playing career. One more season with Liverpool would have marked a new beginning for him.

As Russell H. Conwell discovered in ACRES OF DIAMOND, the grass is always greener on the other side until we get there. In the same light, the other company is always better than your present one until you get there; the other lady or guy until the relationship starts........

Just before you make a major change, THINK! You might be leaving a Championship team for a lesser one. My prayer for you is that may you be at the right place and the right time for success most often occurs when we are at the right place at the right time!!!

This really inspired me seeing as i have just been of the notion that getting a new job is the only thing i need to make me happy at the moment.

Have a nice week y'all

PS:The post reminded me of myself then Nne MM hope it helps.......

Open Letter to my future Husband

2009-02-16T15:19:00.004Z

I thought i had posted this since vals day

I pulled these letters from facebook and it reminded me of vera, writefreak and aloted,don’t ask me how. The people involved should know how individually,I just love them…lol

Even though I don't know exactly who you'll be yet, I think of you often. I wonder how you're living your life now. It matters to me, you know, because how you live your life now determines the kind of man you're becoming...and the kind of man I'll spend the rest of my life with. Apparently, for some bizarre reason, manhood doesn't come automatically for males. Some guys seem to spend their entire lives trying to "prove their manhood" - by hunting, playing sports, driving fast...and, unfortunately, by having sex. It seems rather strange to us women that guys think having sex proves you're a man. To us, it just proves that you've reached puberty. And we don't really consider that, in itself, to be any great accomplishment. Becoming a man is a much more complicated process. The funny thing is, even in this day in age, most guys want to marry a girl who respects her sexuality. A guy doesn't like the idea of his future wife in the back-seat with someone else, or of her being the subject of a sexual conquest story in the locker room. They'll brag about girls like that, but they won't marry them. They want to marry a girl, whether she's never "done it" or done it and regretted it, who recognizes that sex speaks the language of forever, committed love...someone like me. But why would I want to marry someone like that...someone who wants to marry a virgin, but spends his dating years robbing other girls of their virginity so that he can prove his manhood? He's not a "real man" in my eyes - he's a selfish, immature boy driven by insecurity, not love. And I'm not interested. I want more from you. I want you to respect your sexuality as much as I respect mine. I want you to be a real, confident man, not a wimp who has to use women to feed his insecurity. A guy like that couldn't use all of those women, and then suddenly love me. He may be "good" in bed, but he's no good at loving. I want you to learn to really love. Learning to love is learning to put the other first. A guy who messes around outside of marriage isn't putting the good of the other first. He's using a girl...speaking the "body language" of permanent commitment when the relationship isn't permanent. He's putting the girl at risk of pregnancy. And he's putting himself at risk for some nasty diseases...diseases he can then later give his wife. That's not making love. A real man loves women - all women - and wants what's best for them. And he doesn't let his desires control his actions. He controls his desires instead. I want you to develop self-control. That's important to me. I don't want to marry a man who can't control himself. Men like that make lousy husbands. A guy who isn't used to saying "no" to sex isn't going to be any better at 40 than he was at 18. I've seen women who worry every time their husbands hire an attractive secretary. I don't want that. What kind of marriage could I have with someone I couldn't even trust on a business trip? In the short run, I'm sure there aren't too many rewards for a guy living this way. Society tells you that you're missing out on your "sexual peak." Your silence during locker room bragging sessions can seem deafening. You may have even heard from the girls you date that something must be "wrong" with you because you won't take them to bed. Deep down, you must know that having sex won't prove you're a man. It's just irritating to no one else seems to know it, isn't it? But someone else does know it. I know it. And in the end, I'm the only someone who matters. And no, I'm not as narrow-minded as those guys who say they'll only marry a virgin. Society isn't too supportive of virginity, especially male virginity. I can forgive mistakes in your past. But I'm interested in your future, starting now. When I meet you, I want you to be a man who has made a conscious decision to wait...out of love for our future family and commitment to marriage. And I want you to be a real man, who's developed the control, maturity and unselfishness that waiting brings. They may not be popular traits in the locker room, but they're popular with me. They'll make you a better husband, and a better father. To me, that's sexy. I've abstained from sex all these years, and it hasn't been for the lack of offers. I've had plenty of opportunities, and saying "no" hasn't always been easy. I'm sure it's not always easy for you, either. But it will make our marriage so much stronger. Sex will be our gift to each other, our exclusive "language." It'll belong to us, not "us and everyone else we ever dated." Thanks for waiting for me, I promise you won't regret it.

Hey,I know it seems weird writing to a guy I’ll someday marry, but girls do many weird things. If you look at all the weird things we do, this won’t seem so weird.You probably have a million questions about me. I have a million questions about you. It’s natural. I’ll probably answer most of your questions, because I have similar ones. The first answer is: Yes, I’m keeping myself sexually pure. I don’t want a history of guys who gave themselves to me that could show up on our wedding day saying that they were a part of my past experiences. I want you to be my one and only.Just because I’m “the one” doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to meet other girls. Maybe that new girl in youth group you just said hi to will be me. But be careful when you start looking for me. Not every girl is like me. Some will pretend to be like me and turn you away from God.You must wonder what I look like. I wonder the same about you. Every time I meet a Christian guy I wonder if he’s you. But I know God will reveal that in time. I may not recognize you at first, but be patient. I will spend time with you as friends, and after being friends I will realize that you’re the one for me.This has been strange, writing to you. But I hope this letter will keep you accountable and prevent you from doing anything you might regret. I want you to ask your friends to help keep you accountable. My friends are keeping me in check, and I’m doing the same for them. If you stay close to God, I will too, OK?Will you pray for me? Even though we don’t know each other’s names, we can still pray for each other, because God knows everything.Until we meet . . .Love,Your Future Wife(3)I think about you often and I must admit it hurts sometimes not to have you here. I truly believe that waiting for you is probably the greatest lesson in delayed gratification that I will probably ever learn. I sometimes feel that you aren’t out there at all . . . that there will never be someone that will appreciate all the things that make me who I am. Please don’t misunderstand. It is not the waiting that is hard. It is the feelings of isolation and longing. It is the doubt and the fear that occasionally show up when I least expect it. However, I realize that none of this should be dwelled upon because God has chosen us for each other and I will find you when He feels it is time. So I keep my faith in Him and patiently I wait. I fill my empty moments with friends, family, poetry, and prayer. I have made a daily commitment to pray for you even though it isn’t clear to me who you are. I pray for you to find closeness with God. I pray for you to have the strength to make it through whatever trials and tribulations that may come your way. I pray that He gives you courage to do what you know is right and guide you to always make wise decisions. I pray that God will bless your day, your family, your work, and your friends. . . and I pray that He will guard your heart for me just as He guards mine for you. I can’t deny that there have been others that have appeared in my life and challenged my patience and my desire to find you. However they have never been able to deter me. I see them as only preparation for the great love we will one day share and I consider them all lessons learned. It’s hard sometimes, this wait . . .this search. But it has made me independent. Living alone, I have learned to handle whatever comes my way all by myself. I don’t have the luxury of falling apart because I don’t have anyone there to put me back together. But it’s hard to be strong all the time. You don’t even know how many times I’ve wanted you here to share my burdens and say to me, “don’t worry, I’ve got it,” and lighten my load just once. Understand that I wouldn’t expect you to say that ALL of the time. What I do expect is the two of us handling life’s ups and downs together. As the saying goes “a burden shared is a burden halved.” It’s funny, I always thought I’d be married by age 23. I don’t know why I chose this particular number, maybe it was because my mother was married at that point in her life. However, as I look back, I am glad that we didn’t find each other that early in my life. You see, I wasn’t ready then. There were things about myself that needed working on. There were experiences that I needed to have. There were obstacles I needed to overcome. There were lessons I needed to learn. And now I am content in knowing that each day we are apart is an extra day for me to work on myself. It is an extra day to pull out all those insecurities and fears that are sometimes too much a part of me. It is an extra day for me to be certain that all old wounds and scars are completely healed. It is an extra day for me to work on becoming the woman God wants me to be and the woman that you need and desire in your life. I feel that because of our wait, I’ll be able to come to you healed and whole. The longer it takes the more prepared for you I will be. Because of this, I don’t mind waiting because I know that I will be ready, and I know that you will be well worth the wait.

Have a nice week y'all

Concluding Part,testing testing

2009-02-06T08:59:00.003Z

I actually meant i will tell two different stories so this isnt a continuation of another story,its just how i got myself into "truth trouble" again

Story 2 - I had a friend(really close then or so i thought) that had a job but she left cos she thought she wasn't doing anything challenging,wasn't doing so much at the job,we almost quarreled when she was going to leave the job,my argument was she went to a school generally discriminated against and didnt study a "proper" course by nigerian standards so her entry into this money market has to be based on experience,what u can deliver type thing as opposed to an accounting graduate that is written ACCA already or something but dat was what she wanted so i let her be.
2008 came and the job hunt was still on ,she then got frustrated but as far as i was even concerned,she wasn't doing so much to get the job.
First,i told her i saw a mutual friend i told about her and dat one told her to call,she didn't call giving some excuse about sending a txt that is yet to be replied,i also came across a job ad and it was closing on that day,promptly told her about it,she called me when i was already sleeping to talk about something else,i asked how far with the application and she said she looked and didn't see it non-nonchalantly
Another friend spoke to someone on her behalf and she went for the interview and cos it was on a Friday went under dressed and the interviewer got angry,all this i was already getting upset about.
Then on her birthday,she decided to throw a party,she sent the txt to i and beau but un4unately,i had to leave town 2days before so i couldn't attend,she started callin beau.......i got back and she told me how she was calling him and he didn't pick,said sumtin about always calling him and he's never picking his phone and i had warned her against that before cos like a few months back,i was outta town,came back and i saw they had been chatting over bla bla bla.
No matter how anyone is close to me,i have just always had this separate friendship and relationship.typical example is once my friends get married and i go to visit,i dont go into their rooms cos i jus think she is married now and its really private for her,some other people think its not a biggie,she is still your same close friend.I jus dont like it sha
The day i got into work after she said she didn't see d advert,i jus sat down,called her and told her u just don't sit down act like u dont care and expect the job to come,u gotta do dis and dat,sighted d examples up there and told her,dat wasn't a good sign,me i know or hear about openings cos am actively looking for a job,told her of another friend that started a job when she didnt even know the salary,said a lot of things and at the end i told her that jus incase she thinks i am joking about her not calling beau,i am not.i dont call her bobo like dat,i dont even have his number,he's not my friend on facebook so lets all act responsibly!!
I finished and she said "no comments" then went ahead to report me to 2of our friends,those ones called me and i explained d situation(the gal dat got her the interview and d one dat started a job w/out even known the salary),they both asked me what happened and i told them about the advert and everything,d 1st gal jus ket saying "she doesnt think we should fight,life is not like dat",2nd one said i shouldn't have called,i musta misrepresented how i feel,i shoulda gone to see her,they both said sumtin dat hurt me though,they said she said twas cos i had a job i said all dat and i intended to mock her!
Now dat got to me,i promptly sent her a txt apologizing over the whole matter,told her i dint mean to her but they were my true thoughts,am sorry that's not what she wants to hear and i definitely didn't mean to hurt her,she dint reply for like 3days then she sent a really nasty reply that,she chose not to talk when she was angry cos she would have said things she will regret,she is d one that knows where d shoe hurts bla bla bla
i sha still apologized over the matter again.
maybe like 2weeks later,she got a job,she sha called to tell me and cos she used a strange number and after she told me her name,i tot she was calling to fight so i wasnt puttin my mind to the conversation,i dint act all excited and stuff.
To cut the long story short,we are kinda no longer so much of friends,she's been really cold too and me to her and truth is i felt like "i was trying to help and u give me attitude" so i am not really bothered as well.
But if there is anything i hate,its when i tell people its dangerous to go on bikes and they say am insulting them,its cos i have a car or when in uni,i was squatting a friend and we had a misunderstandn over sumtin else entirely,she says its cos she's squatting wiht me.i jus HATE when people think like that or make stupid statements like that.
i concluded that half of the people dont want to hear the truth,they just want you to keep saying "it is well" but with the benefit of hindsight or even if i have seen that write up by dear temite or temite ,maybe i wouldnt have said anything or i'd have asked opinions on how to be be tactical about it.

So what do you think now?

THE END

Seeking opinions,maturity

2009-02-02T09:48:00.003Z

After i read "self audit" on a blog beginning of this year (i dont remember where) i got insipired to write this post.Its about how maturity means its not that important to tell the truth all the time,kindness is important,tact is important,one doesnt have to be blunt all the time type line
i think i am guilty of that and until i saw it written out like that,i didnt even know it.i use to console myself that only a true friend will tell u ur mouth stinks,am only been sincere and all of that but i think maturity involves loads of tact as well

I will tell you 2stories that happened to me last year and i'll expect your views on when to draw the line.i am asking because i trust you people to always tell it as it is

Story 1 - A friend of mine was in a relationship,lets call her M,she had anoda friend K that i am not so close too but we have a mutual friend so we talk.
M was supposed to get married last year but she called d whole thing off a few days before the intro unknown to me but known to K,her fone was switched off and i kept paskin K wasup but she claimed she hadnt been in touch as well,she came back and am like,how was it?what happened and she said she was jus tired,she found sumtin deep about him he hadnt told her and twas important,told me a lotta things + d fact she called it off and he isnt even aplogetic,he begged her for a week and that was it.at dat instant,i got this idea that what she needed was reassurance so i told her i will speak to him and asked for his number,she said i could but i had to get the number myself.i got his number,called d guy,met with him and spoke to the guy over the whole matter,he acted sorry and all of that,then he started begging and puttin pressure on M,M didnt remember our conversation,she tot the guy came on his own but still felt convinced she dint want d relationship again.It all ended.For the sake of closure on my part and any future drama,i called M and told her all i did and she told me i wasnt serious,cant play God,we laughed over it and that was d end.
She went ahead to gist her friend K about it,that one crucuifed me,thought it was rubbish,i poknosed bla bla bla but no one ever told me.dont think it came out strong like that to M as well
One of my upset days with beau,K is jus around me bugs me for what the problem is and i jus opened up to her,told her i wasnt even sure if i should go ahead,talked a lot to her and she jus told me to pray.
A few weeks later,we were all having a conversation and K said she was looking for a marital house,am like Waoh,i didn't even know there was a toaster u liked how much more courtship,how did u meet?hope u are in love,hope u like him?"jus general girl gist and she jus smiled and said "keep praying for me like av been praying for u",she didnt answer any of my questions,i felt bad(afterall i have told u all my life secrets before) but no biigie at all,its her life and she doesnt wanna discuss it.Only for anoda friend E to come and meet me dat K said i asked about her life,she dint tell me cos she doesnt like how i handle people's matter and she told E all about M and what happend??am like WTF,she had no busniness telling you about that but now that it has happened like dis,we all need to talk.
So i called M,told her the whole thing,asked if she was ever mad at me and she said she wasnt,i called K and that is where i must have said too much.
Told her she must be really really crazy to dislike how i treated another person's matter when the person dint mind,why was she asking me about my life if she was such a terrible person,from now henceforth,she should never ask me anything private and never expect me to ask her,it is up to her if she doesnt wanna tell me about hersel but it isnt aher freaking business wat my relationship with other people is.You know i said a lot cos i was sooo hurt.it sounded unbelievable to me she was holding what i did to M against me and decided to go and inform someone else then claim she was still going to come and meet me.
To sha cut the long story short,we are all still in a group,i talk to M and E very well but there's jus dis friction wen it comes to her,i was telling someone about sumtin beau did and she chipped in one day talking about her mister and a similar scenario and i gave the attitiude of "please i dont wanna know,i dont want any drama"

will conclude next week...the post was toooo long

Have a fantastic love month

Am taking a break............

2009-01-16T11:14:00.001Z

.......from typing a serious post.what were you thinking??lol
Enjoy this English language drama

If you ever feel stupid, then just read on. If you have learned to speak fluent English, you must be a genius! This little treatise on the lovely language we share is only for the brave. Peruse at your leisure, English lovers.

Reason why the English language is so hard to learn:

1. The bandage was wound around the wound.

2. The farm was used to produce produce.

3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4. We must polish the polish furniture.

5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10. I did not object to the object.

11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid

12.There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13. They were too close to the door to close it.

14. The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17. The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18. After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19. Upon seeing the tear in the painting i shed a tear.

20. I had to subject the subject to a series of test.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger: neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

Quicks and works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of hhem, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital; Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflect the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

Why doesn't ''Buick'' rhyme with ''quick''

Have a nice weekend y'all

Security Vs Trust

2009-01-09T08:25:00.003Z

Am no on updates fireeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!Let's go.

I am always trying to determine d proper difference between security in a relationship and trust and there are days it means d same thing to me and days it doesn't.
For instance now,most times i have felt secure in my relationship that no matter what,he is gonna be faithful particularly after i have seen how some girls have gone out of their way to come on to him and he didn't disappoint me even when i wasn't watching and there are the days i have felt like "why does he keep spending hours with a particular person on the phone" but one thing i have realized is that they had all been phases in our life.
Av gone past the stage of checking his phone records,txt messages or what have you,i think i feel totally secure and trust me but problem now is am afraid to let him know.i have a feeling that if a man feels trusted,it gives him the room to feel he can get away with doing something shady very sharp,i know this might sound really really naive of me but between me and blogsville,i don't think my man has ever cheated on me,i use to snoop around a lot,checking all his mailboxes when he didn't know i had d passwords,even up to his work e-mail,checking his phones,facebook everywhere and i have never seen anything,drop by his house unannounced,do all sorts of things but nada.
I know he takes relationships quite seriously and has a phobia for a failed marriage or failed anything for that matter so he tries to be the best he can be but i am so scared of myself now cos i think i trust him.
One thing i must mention here is that he is an incurable flirt though,av seen cases where he's flirting and d gals ask about our facebook pictures and he goes that's my chairwoman,my #1 madam and the girls still don't give a hoot,they both enjoy the "flirting" or something. Of course he escapes when the heat is getting much but that's just the "worst" i have noticed,for some reason,since i don't actually hear it
(e.g phone call or when am there)av only seen in prints,it don't really bug me
I started thinking so much cos one of my peoples just broke up 2weeks before their Traditional wedding,the guy's sisters didn't really like her cos they thought she was an Abuja big babe and she gets her money from sleeping around and stuff,they looked so much in love,she trusted him,everything was fine until 2 weeks before,one of these evil sisters came and informed her his Ex(the girl they were rooting for) was pregnant!She was so pained and so was i,to the best of my knowledge,there were no problems in that rel,just regular everyday issues(i think i have more issues than her self) and the anuofia guy came and said "yes its true,they are keeping the baby but the wedding can still go on",he wasn't even d one that told her.My friend trusted her guy and was secure so to speak and see what she got.they were suppose to have done d wedding during Easter but her mum got diagnosed for cancer so they postponed till Xmas.She has moved on but it hurts even when i think about it.She actually said there had been an issue about the ex before but she thought they had gone past it,she trusted him so never snooped bla bla bla,she is sure if she got a sniff of it ,she would have been able to stop it,she know he loves her,but she's not going back,if she was married she would have stayed with him but she is not,let him go and marry her
I also know for a fact that people can make mistakes,like we always hear,we should learn to love unconditionally but snooping around might just help once in a while IMO.Its not until after its done,we'll now be saying "had i known",even if it means snooping around to kick his ass asap before getting too far and it doesn't mean "insecurity" or does it?

This is the year of our marriage (God willing) ,the year i am suppose to think very hard and be sure its what i want so i think of this last couple of years,d ups,d downs,if i can live with him forever and as much as i want the marriage,i get scared most times,most of my married friends are really encouraging,they say "its d life of a woman,would get used the extra patience,a husband teaches u patience but a child even teaches you extra patience)i am the type that wont mind getting pregnant the day i get married but i get so scared thinking about the responsibility,
Staying together over xmas and newyear felt like taking a peek into my marital life,it felt like fun but i also felt this relief when i was going back to my house,I am scared oh,i am really scared of a lot of things but i guess i can only hope for the best.I think i even digressed too much self

My question today is
what is the difference between security and trust in a relationship cos i have heard people say "no one should be trusted 100% and the same people scream blue murder when one acts it cos they say u are INSECURE

Happy new Year,Reporting Vera

2009-01-05T14:25:00.007Z

Hello people,how una dey??Happy new year,i wish you all a very fantastic year ahead,may all our dreams come true and may the lord embarrass us with as much blessing as possible this year

First and foremost,I'd like to blame www.verastic.com for all my blogging problems,everytime i want to sleep at night,i think about how my day went,my blog, things i could have blogged about,i come around i sit to type,i decide to just visit her blog and before i know it,i am reading the latest post,laughing away then going to all the latest updates she always has on the right side of her blog then i end up reading posts,commenting and never getting to blog.
Its all her fault!!!!!

My new year resolution is not to let her deter me again.that said,we can move on!!!

I don't know why but at the beginning of every year,i am always too afraid to set goals for myself,i set goals that i call "inevitable" God willing and all things been equal
In my final year in UNI,my new year resolution was to finish school,last year,it was i want to visit Dubai when i know i have practically saved enough and getting the visa is not difficult

This year,my new year resolution is to get married(including Vera's of course) and get pregnant self (thanks to all the babies around me including CHIDI) but for reasons i cant explain,i am scared of the whole thing.
this last long hols gave me the opportunity to spend a long time with beau in his house,something i haven't done in a while to promote our celibacy act,
it was fun while it lasted,we hardly argued over anything major and i think that is cos we both knew it would soon end and i will go back to my house,i had the time to cook 3ice daily,sleep,just watch TV,i could carry his car out,one of our arguments was over going to buy stuff downstairs.I was frying all the chicken for xmas and i was either telling him to buy Maggi or oil or tin tomato and at a point he had to tell me to get a complete list and me i had to ask if it was my fault all of it wasn't available,he sha told me not to be in a hurry to crucify him,it will soon start been my fault if anything isn't available in the house,we laughed a lot,it was fun oh,he rested a lot as well but i was kinda happy and relieved i was going back to my house and i could continue to do as i please.I feel funny but i have grown so used to living on my own,marriage is sometimes not so appealing + i live evry close to my office and he lives so far away.

So how was ur xmas and new year long hols?what did you do?hope you all had fun??
One love

am testing inserting links and pictures in posts so bear with me

Semi Update....

2008-11-28T09:30:00.000Z

I don't really have an update,just tot to let you know am feeling better today,thank God.not like so much has changed but i just feel better.Of course,i and d mister settled,did i mention we have a strict "no hanging" up rule and immediately he said he had to take a call,i just pressed d red button on my phone.of course i didn't mention that wen i was "Reporting" him to you.
Like Mummy awon TK once said,we tend to focus on the negative when upset so one should take it easy.
Nothing much is going on,thank you for the love and encouragement.
Have a nice weekend and for those it applies to Happy thanksgiving

Bored,Unhappy

2008-11-21T11:29:00.002Z

I have not been happy lately and i cant say exactly why.The year is coming to an end and i don't feel fulfilled,i don't remember having any specific plans for this year but i still don't feel like i achieved a lot

First,i was thinking maybe cos i was unhappy with my job doing the same thing over and over again but i realize am more bored than unhappy at it.

Then i just started having dis nagging feeling that my spiritual life isn't where it should be,i try to hold high moral values and try to be as religious as i can but something just doesn't feel right,i don't feel like am growing,i feel stagnant

Then,i am just tired of my father,i know the bible talks about honoring one's parents and all that but i just don't understand the man.
First,the kids had to spend so much money on health issues,he smokes and drinks,the doctor told him his illness had to do with his chest and he had to quit so now he hides under all sorts of guises,says he's taking local medications made with gin and stuff,atimes i wake up and see more than 3missed calls on my phone and i panic thinking "hope its got nothing to do with him"
Now he just seems to be at loggerhead with everyone,i went to see him the other day and he said i was walking too fast,am i okay??am like yeah and he goes "something has to be wrong with you",
am like what kind of a man is this?My bro jus gave him money for general upkeep today and he threw the money back at him saying "the money came too late,was he waiting to be begged first"?that one stormed out of the house in anger saying "he doesn't wanna be bothered again"
Infact ehn,i just don't know again.i called my mum to ask "what really happened" hoping i will hear at least a fair opinion of what transpired and she went on and on about "how we are all d same",even if my dad was upset,my brother was suppose to apologize not get angry,started scolding me like i was the culprit and i just tried to manage it as best as i could.

My other brother got a job and he's choosing not to tell the parents cos they think its too soon for him to change jobs,he was actively pursuing 2jobs at d same time,the less preferred came,he tried to postpone it as best as he could but it dint work so he had to start there as a back up plan,3months later he wants to leave and they are calling it irresponsible..............

Then,for no concrete reason like dat,i picked a fight with beau simply cos i called him,twas on "call waiting",he dint drop the call to answer mine,he finished his conversation and while i was on the phone,a call came and he "had to" pick it.the thing got me soo angry you'd have thought it was more than just that.Now he's angry,am angry and am truly not bothered,normally i would have just been feigning anger but i am just pissed at the moment,i feel like am bored of the relationship anyway,we've been dating for too long and not even the talks of wedding plans is getting me in the mood.
Everyhting just seems funny. I feel like maybe i should just abscond from the country or something..lol

have a nice weekend everyone

Money on car or wedding?

2008-11-10T14:38:00.003Z

So we've gone to London and back,twas fun all d way,a bit cold.I even heard it snowed for the 1st time in 50years.dint see it though.lol
It was someone's birthday(wink,wink) so loads of cake and ice cream.Any financial gurus in the house?I want to sell ALL d shares i have and buy me a brand new car.i am just sick and tired of this stock exchange that has been crashing like there is no tomorrow.its d worst i have ever heard of in my life
Then on second thoughts,i want to sell and put the money in fixed deposit,i know am gettin married sometimes next year(God's grace) so i will need money then as well but........i dont even know.how much can i possible need for my wedding?what expense is the woman responsible for?my daddy or hubby pays for my gown and accessories(They are both proud like dat and might wanna insist on paying for it,am not telling anyone of dem d oda is paying if the 2 of dem should insist.......lol).
So what do u think?
As i grow older,all my fantasies of a fairytale wedding just disappear in the windows,1st was that thot that i will marry my husband a "V" and then on our wedding night.........then it became the wedding of like 700 people in different "aso ebi's" but now,i think i jus want to go to the registry one Tuesday morning,get married and forget about any party,when i have my 1st child,i will throw a bug party.
My mum and the mister(i got the slang from sha and i think its cool)thinks am out of my mind but that's how i feel this days...what do y'all think?
I missed blogsville,i dunno how how u update regularly atimes!
Where's afrobabe oooooooooooooooooh?

Sharp Man,am alive.....

2008-10-03T10:56:00.000+01:00

Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls-Royce to a downtown New York City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5,000.
The loan officer, taken aback, requested collateral and so the man said, "Well then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce."
The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safe keeping, and gave him $5,000.
Two weeks later, the man walked through the bank's doors, and asked to settle up his loan and get his car back. "That will be $5,000 in principal, and $15.40 in interest", the loan officer said. The man wrote out a check and started to walk away.
"Wait sir", the loan officer said, "while you were gone, I found out you are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow $5,000?"
The man smiled. "Where else could I park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15.40?
Dats for you folks that havnt seen the joke before.

Dont mind me jare,i have not been able to sit tight and blog.
Hope y'all got all d chocs and stuff i distributed to everyone and all d t-shirts from city centre??
For those that live in 9ja,u'll agree with me dat we had d best time of our lives in the last 5days,Ol'boy,was it fun or wat?to now make matters better,3rd mainland has been opened though the traffic was gangstar.enuf test for driving skills.
how is blogsviile dis days?do i really have any gist?not really jare.we have forund a house and lagos landlord na die,i have begged to go and build one room so that we'll live there,the house is new and d landlady got stuck bulind d house so he had to pay 4 years rent,they even called him again last week to come and add money and he's tryin to negotiate that should be part of the 5th year payment but they are provin stubborn,she is ready for a full refund if we dont agree.
Well,i freak out when i think about weddin preparation and i cant afford a weddin planner,i humoured myself and called one of dem and she told me 2million naira.as per she dint say i would spen 2M for my weddin oh,she said her fee for runnin around is 2M,i started thinking about dat as an alternate career path.
Everyone in lagos went to ghana,benin republic and things for the public hols but i was right in lagos,sleeping,watching movies,lounging,i rested so much there is absolutely nothing to complain about.
To plan weddin no be beans ooh,i dont really think easter is that feasibile anymore cos after paying for house,we are yet to furnish(notice how am sayin "We" like am droppin a dime.....LOL),then beau just bought a new car so right now,we have to work oh cos d budget is *cough,cough*
Oluwadee,Nikkisab.......how una take perform the magic ooh?
I am sure you people think me CRAZY at dus junction but i have a free ticket so i am taggin along with beau to the Uk jare,he has been sayin it small small and travelling with him is fun jare,jus dat i dont have any money to spend like daaat but lest see how it goes!
Life and relationships?its goin on well,no issues but y does sumtin always come up??
Have a nice weekend y'all

My trip,20%/80%

2008-09-08T12:36:00.002+01:00

Hello Everyone,how una dey?dubai was very very nice,it was very hot though but it was very nice.some drama happened between i and beau just before i left and the article below softened my heart,please read and be inspired,its not as if we dont know this things most times,we jus like t be reminded.
I shall do a proper post in a bit........

I find this to be quite intriguing and an interesting and thought provoking FOOD FOR THOUGHT for the day, week, month, year and maybe for the rest of our lives. PLEEEAASE!!!! READ ON.

Interesting quote from the movie "Why did I get married?"
In most cases, especially in relationships, you will only get 80% of what you NEED and you will hardly get the other 20% that you WANT in your relationship.
There is always another person (man or women) that you will meet and that will offer you the other 20% which is lacking in your relationship that you WANT and believe me, 20% looks really good when you are not getting it at all in your current relationship.
But the problem is that you will always be tempted to leave that good 80% that you know you have thinking that you will get something better with the other 20% that you WANT but as reality has proven,in most cases, you will always end up with having the 20% that you WANT and losing the 80% that you really NEED and that you already had.
Be careful in deciding between what you WANT and NEED in your life.Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have. "Wow, this girl in my office is a real looker. But it's not her Wynona Rider features that got me. I'm crazy about her because she's also understanding, intelligent, tender - so many things that my spouse is not"
Somewhere along the way, you'll find a woman or a man who will be more charming or sensitive. More alluring, More thoughtful, Richer. Have greater sex appeal. And you will find a woman or man who will need you and pursue you and go loco over you more than your spouse ever did.Because no wife or husband is perfect. Because a spouse will only have 80% of what you're looking for.So adultery takes place when a husband or wife looks for the missing 20%. Let's say your wife is melancholic by nature. You may find yourself drawn to the pretty clerk who has a cherry laugh no matter what she says: "I broke my arm yesterday, Hahahaha . . .." Or because your wife is a homebody in slippers and pajamas, smelling of garlic and fish oil,you may fall for a fresh-smelling young sales representative that visits your office in a sharp black blazer, high heels, and a red pencil-cut skirt or because your husband is the quiet type,our heart may skip a beat when you meet an old college flame who has the makings of a talk show host.
But wait! That's only 20% of what you don't have.Don't throw away the 80% that you already have!
That's not all. Add to your spouse's 80% the 100% that represents all the years that you have been with each other, the storms you have weathered together. The unforgettable moments of sadness and joy as a couple,The many adjustments you have made to love the other. The wealth of memories that you've accumulated as lovers. Adultery happens when you start looking for what you don't have,But faithfulness happens when you start thanking God for what you already have.
But I'm not just talking about marriage, I'm talking about life, About your jobs, About your friends, About your children, About your lifestyles,
Are you like the economy airline passenger that perennially peeks through the door of the first class cabin, obsessed with what he's missing? "They have got more leg room! Oh my, their food is served in porcelain! Wow, their seats recline at an 80% angle and they've got personal videos!"
I guarantee you'll be miserable for the entire trip! Don't live your life like that. Forget about what the world says is first class. Do you know that there are many first class passengers who are miserable in first class because they are not riding in a private Lear Jet?

The main message???
If you start appreciating what you have right now,wherever you are, you are first class!

20/80 or 80/20. You determine your lot in life. Enjoy what you have because you’re blessed.

Have a fantastic week my friends

change in plan

2008-08-24T06:01:00.002+01:00

I know beau doesnt read dis page but there was a dramatic turn i can only write about wen i get back.am rushin to the airport so i jus took down d post.
Thanks arcwiz,oluwadee,uzezi and one last darling.
i jus needed to et off steam but we are all good now.Of course there is going to be a wedding...lol

PERSONAL PERCEPTION, BE PATIENT

2008-08-16T22:04:00.002+01:00

PERSONAL PERCEPTION
Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?"Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.
Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman." The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.
It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.
Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..................

BE PATIENT
This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.
Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, " Daddy, I’m sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed suicide.
Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.
People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.

And this will mark the end of these series,its not been fun doing at this at the cybercafe,am so used to my laptop at work it feels cumbersome to carry it up and down and stuff.

Well,y'all remember that dubai trip,i am going in a couple of days and u can be sure i will bring you back the gist but please pray for my internet to come up fast cos dis aint funt at all,i just totally cant help but check my blogs or facebook.
Meanwhile,my dad is even beginning to gimme issues,i gotta blog about it soon.
i am sorry replying u my dear visitors has to be on hold for some time till i get myself totally sorted.
until then,have a great week!!!

The Proposal,No Overpowering,Right Speech

2008-08-04T15:36:00.005+01:00

Waoh,waoh waoh!!!
So many things are running through my mind at the same time now.
1st,one of my close pals got hold of my blog cos i used one one her slangs(how was i suppose to know she invented it?),she even told me i should know she got my back all d time(u remember d post about been unsure of friends??)and while i was still battling wit the shock,someone came and told me about some gal biffing me over something i did in good faith to another!!*phew*

Meanwhile,guess waat?i have been stressed lately at work so i asked Beau to be nice and give me a treat,he said yes without much ado and while i was still surprised,i went ahead,planned it and he dint come up with any last minute excuse.I had sooo much fun and u wouldnt believe it HE PROPOSED!!!!!How???Watch out for my weddin webbie.........LOL
Am still mighty surprised but yes he did and i was really happy,i had actually fashied(hope did is a generAa enuf slang...LOL) but now i have certified him romantic,i just think it was very thoughtful sha cos the only reason he did it is cos i jus think its d formal and honourable thing to do!!!So am really excited.dats y i have been a bit AWOL.

Moving forward to the continuation of my intial post,

NO OVERPOWERING
Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character."
It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.
It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..

RIGHT SPEECH
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.
A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, "Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered ,"You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."
Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.

** I typed the 1st paragraph over a week ago!!!!

Trust,No pointing fingers,Creating perfect relationships

2008-07-18T11:30:00.002+01:00

Hello people,my next 2posts will be a bit philosophical or is emotional,please read and be inspired!!!!!

TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.
A female telephone operator received a phone call one day. She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is."
Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".

NO POINTING FINGERS
A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?"
The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."
We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.
If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.

CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?
A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous , sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need television."
There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband ,because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.

Have a lovely weekned y'all

Life Activites,Friendship,Love..et al

2008-07-11T10:28:00.004+01:00

So hey people,how are u today?
Thank y'all for making me feel better about not gettin the job,as everyone as said, d one that is truly my own will not pass me buy at all at all.
So next is i need to plan a trip for a friend to ghana,what do i need to know?wat hotels are affordable in accra??how much?location?how do u look around?wat is there to see really?(Am asking cos i dunno) asides the fabric??how does one look around??i dont even know why i said yes to help her get he info cos am so tired mentally i think!
Is it me or blogs are soo slow this days?i thought it was my internet at work and then i realized other sites were not as slow.i dont know again jare or i noticed cos i was trying to look for this amebo website naijalines gave me gist about.the thing just reminds me of when beau goes "ehen,i have gist for you and then he goes,am not telling u again",dis days i know his own is just to seek for my notice but before i use to harass then beg him ehn.hahahahahaha
Anyway,abeg if anybody know d site,make una tell me jare!!!

Then i was jus been philosophical and i was lookin at the big picture of life,i dont know what revolves round most of your lifes but i everyday,i wake up,say my prayers,get ready for work,go to work,blog,facebook,okay..actually do some work then i go home.i dont really hang out at nite like dat,neither does beau,then d weekend comes then we go for weddin or baby dedication or birthday ceremony if any then rest on sundays and d routine continues itself.when it gets to like May,i start to plan my vacation,take it,come back to work and the routine continues.I am just wondering what daily activities are about.
i usually admire vera and d kinda friendship she has with Funmi or Uju or what have you,i dont have such friends,i am wondering if everyone has freinds from primamry school they ar really tight with cos i dont,i have friends,infact loads of people i talk to,i know how to stay in touch with people but i dont know if i really have friends like dat.
For instance,as am writing this piece,i cant think of any friend that can call me up,say she is stranded and needs to crash over at beau's place (of course it doesnt mean i dont trust beau or sumtin) but i really believe in prevention is better than cure.On d contrary,when my sister(We stay togeda) starts to annoy me in the house and he's seein reasons with all d crap she's doing,i jus drive her away to his house to go and stress him and leave my life alone,i dont even care how long she stays there or if she never even comes back to our house and i am really comfy with it.
Speaking of which,i love my sista a lot oh,i really do but there has always been this rift between she and our mama i dunno wat to do,my mum doesnt trust her one bit, think dats cos she's d obviously outgoing one,very fashion conscious,travels all the time(as a student) and doesnt really ask our parents for money,my mum is always tellin her about how if she ever gets preggers she shouldnt commit abortion,u know droppin all those kinda hints.irony of all these is she thinks am the goody two shoes cos am usually boring,stayin at home all day all nite but i can vouch for my sis that she is even a virgin self.She's got loads of toasters that have money(i dont know how),and some guys can be funny,they try to play smart,buy the ticket so they travel togeda and i think she does ridiculous things like change d date last minute or u know jus generally plays pranks and stuff(she's young so y not),she has a boyfy she has been dating for like 4years and the bobo is a pastor all the way,she is a good xtian and stuff oh but she's also a realisitic young lady,she just cant be bored,she is even top 5 in her class in medical school(Dat aint beans at all)everytime she's tellin my mum stuff,she already assumes its a lie without even listening to her own side of the story,My sista has started havin this feeling dat mama hates her but i know for a fact that she doesnt,i really wish i could help but i dont know how to..........
She stoppeed askin for money cos evertime she asks for money,mum thinks its inflated anyway,infact ehn........how can i help them cos the situation looks really awkward,they just finished another session of arguments now.....

PS:i tried attaching a picture and it dint work,how do i do dat oh?

A - Z of Tags + other stuff

2008-06-30T11:19:00.003+01:00

Hello People,dont mind me jare,first,i was avoiding blogging cos av been thinking of something nice and neutral to talk bout but av not found cos av not had time to think!!

I got a mail from the company that "unfortunately............",i was actually sadder than i should have been,beau sha tried to console me that maybe it was an insider runs ,according to me the interview went well,bla bla bla,am sure he was just trying to console me jare.and unfortunately for me,there was this 4weeks project i was suppose to jump start but i was hoping i will just pull d leave then resign stunt on my office so i have had sooooo much to do in the last coupla days or has it been weeks.
Beau has been so very helpful,he's been such a darling.what can i do but Thank God soo much for him?

I have been tryin to type a post across a week and alas my office peeps are pissing me off so i can write!!they were all suppose to have handed me inputs for me to collate stuff and they are all just been sloppy and really slow.*Arrrrrrrrrgh*
lemme just do dis thingy i stole from Lolu's blog.its called A - Z OF TAGS.I will surely feel better.

A. Attached or Single?
Attached

B. Best Friends?
My Mum
My sista
My beau

C. Cake or Pie?
Chocolate Ice cream cake anytime anyday!

D. Day of Choice?
Friday:Cos i laze around work and just wait for it to be 5pm so i can go to my wonderful weekend

E. Essential Item?
My phone and what i like to call Vex money(emergency money i always have with me)

F. Favorite Color?
It so seriously depends.On me will be brown but for weddings,it will be green or blue,i prefer bright colours!!

G. Greatest accomplishment?
H-o-n-e-s-t-l-y,it will be not been pregnant before declaring celibacy and sticking by it!!LOL

H. Hometown?
Lagos State

I. Indulgences?
Perfumes and cakes

J. January or July?
July! (Its the middle of the year,)

K. Kids?
Not yet but i have been loving the feeling of having one lately.even if i never get married,i would love to have a child!

L. Life is incomplete without?
Almighty God the father

M. Marriage date?
April 12th 2009 God willing(i hope thats when easter is)

N. Number of siblings?
4

O. Oranges or apples?
Oranges jooo

P. Phobias or fears?
Hell fire,poverty,failed marriage (in dat particular order)

Q. Quotes?
God in me,the hope of glory

R. Reason to smile?
Waking up each day

S. Season?
Half way between rainy and sunny season.(wotever dat is)

T. Tag three friends?
Only??i am tagging like 10people if not more,lemme finish first!!

U. Unknown fact about me?
I really really really wish i had an american passport.

V. Very favorite store?
Shoprite....i think!

W. Worst habit?
picking my nose, allocating equal time for facebooking,blogging and work.dats rubbish.lol

X. X-ray or ultrasound?
Ultrasound.cos i tink u cant get cancer from dat

Y. Your favorite food?
plantain with anything goes

Z. Zodiac?
Scorpio and i can so sting!!

I hereby tag Afrobabe,Msemotions,omosewa,tin-tin(boy and girl),Oluwadee,doll(please wat is wrong wit ur blog?),shotmusinz,solomondysselle,vera Ezimora,ibiluv,Ladyguide,fantasy queen,the parakeet.My new twin!T-O-B-E-N-N-A!!

So those of you I have tagged, copy the questions, answer dem and look for who to tag if you want!!

Job interview,Headaches of been a good listener

2008-06-13T11:11:00.007+01:00

Hey people,no update from me like dat jare,am jus there.......

I went for a job interview and believe it or not,i was called cos of my planning skills(yipeeeeeee)and i had so much to tell them,they asked for my 1year plan,i had to add "Asides gettin married",mistake cos they harassed me ehn,"so wats goin to happen?wat if ur husband decides he wants u to be a stay at home mum???bla bla bla bla.The pay is good so y'all should pray with me i get the job abeg!!
Now in anticipating i get the job,(LOL),it means i have to drop dis laptop cos its an official one,there is no yahoo or facebook access in the new office so am going to be soooo dependent on the blogs i love to read for my own sanity and balance.so here comes the problem,i have like 40blogs bookmarked(Afrobabe,how many do u have???),how do i save them somewhere cos i will be tooo upset if i lose them.

Its friday so am looking forward to the weekend........lemme give you people gist i heard dis morning self since nothing is going on with me personally.

I have dis neighbour B,she hitches a ride with me to work and lately,we've been having time issues,i dont really rush to work early anymore cos i have "paid my dues" so to speak so no one bothers me if i am even as much as 30mins late so i take
it easy one me and sleep for 30mins extra atimes too especially when i dont have mush goin on.She just got a new place and she's still on probabtion so its no longer convenient for the both of us to go to work togther!
Here comes the interesting part,her boyfriend(i told y'all am a good listener or is everyone just always ready to unburden their issues to anyone u care or not???LOL) has access to about 3cars.
He lives with his brother in another part of town,his brother use to have a brand new car but he changed job and got another official car that isnt as nice and has the company name boldly all over it,her bobo has 1 car he bought with his money then
2official like cars.the 1st one is shared with another colleague and the 2nd one is for just him,he actually has 2jobs(please dont ask me how) so thats how the 3cars came about.
Now her grievance is that she has been telling him dat my own time schedule has changed and that means she has to take a bus and bike to work every blessed morning except maybe like today(Friday) where they are a bit laid back at work and she can
ride wit me.I think he drops her at home once in a while when he's not riding wit his partner he shares d car with or she just hitches with anyone else as well.
So the issue now is y cant he just teach her how to drive and maybe give her one of his cars if he's truly in love wit her or if he as much as cares about her,she's soooo mad at him but she doenst really know how to express it without going wrong,she has told him times without number to teach her how to drive but he's always claiming he's busy,his bro drives one of d cars(d one he bought with his money) every now and then,she claims she'd have bought a car but she will feel better doing dat only after she's married or they at least are preparin towards it.she claims the only time he tells her "he luvs her" is if he wants to have sex of if she tells him,she's really upset at the moment,she is even contemplating breakin up with him.
First,she's cut off sex for the past 3months cos she told him that if he truly loves her,he should wait,then she said something about him always getting cranky wen money talks comes up,not like she cant take care of herself,she can but everyone wants to just indulge cos they got a man,afterall u can give without loving but u cant love
without giving,she stated d last scenario dat really pissed her off.
He wanted to buy sturvvs for himself from her friend and cos his chequebook wasnt with him,she agreed to give her friend her cheque(postdated) so that he can pay her d money and everthing goes as planned,it happened a long time ago and she completely forgot about it.Only for her friends to go and cash the money without telling her,she asks bobo for the money with a claim that the babe went to the bank and couldnt cash money and for over a week,he has been giving her some lame story after the other.1st,he was posting her and now he paid a cheque into his own account and he's waiting fot it to clear today or somethign of the sort....At dis junction,THANKFULLY(i might add)we got to where she gets off,d irony of all of these is they have been together for 4years and i think they are planning a future together as welll,she doesnt know how she has coped soo far but she is now tired!!!!!
Me thinks she is jus goin thru a phase cos i know she's never been dis upset!!!she use to talk about been VERY VERY SURE he's not cheating on her and u know good things about the bobo
If am lucky,we wont talk about it again otherwise.........................!
What do you think abeg???where's msemmotions abeg?y are there so many rel probs in d world?how are u suppose to know wen it is sure to work?

First Visit Drama

2008-06-03T11:33:00.010+01:00

Hello people,hiya doin?hope we are all getting as close as possible to goals we set for ourselves come mid year?????

As u might have guessed right by now,it didn't really matter what i told L or not,Infact, i feel i shouldn't have wasted my emotions or bloggers time by blogging about it.y'all should say a line or two in prayer for her that it turns out well cos that's the only thing we want now.

Back to the post of the day,So i and beau went to visit my family over the weekend.
The truth is i kinda got skeptical during the week and i tried every excuse in the book not to make it happen but it still did.not like i was getting cold feet or anything,its because beau doesnt exactly have a definite plan or a plan i know of yet.i am a very detailed planner.even if our wedding is xmas next year,i want to know!
i didnt want us to go anymore and the reasons i gave him were
1)he had not proposed which he brushed aside too soon,lol.i tried to make a serious point but didn't wanna argue for too long jare. I'd rather save my arguments for when its very valid
2)if we dont have a wedding date,i am not starting anything,dis is suppose to be step1 then the other steps will follow but he INSISTED that we'll know the 2nd step after this 1st step.
I know my beau too well,its not like he's planning any surprise thingy or anything,he just lacks the ability to plan every detail,he thinks he can gimme 3months in between introduction of families and wedding and i need like 6months,i am very very fussy,ordinary dis dubai trip has been so planned such that if anything goes wrong,it will still fall into something acceptable.
Lemme give you a typical example of me been very careful and my beau been very carefree.
I had told him since the beginning of may i wanted to buy his sister Zenith equity fund,i kept disturbing him for money that had been given to him to give me since march,then at the beginning of last week,i told him the offer was closing Friday and he should go and pay the money,he bluntly refused then i totally forgot(cos its truly closing in 2weeks time or so anyway) then on thurs(public hols),i go on and on about how he's messed the whole thing up and my friday will be to busy,he then said he will pay the money 1st thing on friday.any amount for guesses?he didnt!then at 3pm i call and feign been very very upset about the whole thingy,he now tried to do an internet transfer dat dint work,told me to go to the bank so i can be inside when they close then he went to the bank to do a transfer at 4:30pm!!we argued over this and he had d effontry to tell me he still made it and it dint make him different from anyone that had bought 3weeks earlier!!i think its unacceptable but i dunno what to do about it just yet!!Of course i wasnt at any nonsense bank.GTB accepts u can use your phone in the banking hall so dat musta been why he didnt ask.

I really tried telling him i thought he wasnt ready that's why he didnt have a plan how everthing was suppose to be but it was one of those"i must have my way" days 4 him i guess.
So we went and it was aite,my parents are very warm people anyway!My daddy(God bless his heart) will never hurry you to marry or anything of that sort.Spoke to him at length since we were now asking for permission for events to roll,asked him loads of questions,beau decreased his age,i almost burst out laughing,he's 32 but told daddy he's 31!!av been tormenting him silly,dint know he felt "old" already,For a man,i am mighty surprised!!when he got to the "so what is the plan now",my beau told him "we dont have a definite plan yet,(how dare him say "we"??he should have said "I",LOL),as i have come to you now,i will go to my parents,(duuuuuuuuuuuuh,his dad luvs me dieeee,his mum is late) and get back to you.and guess what??my daddy said "its okay",i was sooo not finding it funny,i wished my dad harassed him a bit that"dont u have like a plan,a guideline u are following or something but none of that happened!!
Its all good sha,lets see how it goes but really.dats it.
So what do u pips tink?

Gisting time...gimme advice people!!

2008-05-22T15:32:00.001+01:00

Todays topic is one my gals,all my friends jus easily(and WRONGLY) assume my relationship is d best and am having a blast such that when anythin is goin wrong and i try to calm them down and tell them i go through similar stuff they say it can never be d same!!!!
My friend(lets call her L) has been my friend since forever,we got into uni 2geda and she started dating dis bobo,classmates(i always had sumtin against dat),but d guy was jus okay,regular kinda guy.eventually after like a year,jambites(fresh man year) came in and d guy got distracted and started seeing someone else,L was heartbroken cos u knw 1st cut is d deepest,he disvirgined her and she was already planning their lives 2geda in yr2,imagine??
To get over d hurt,she immediately started seeing a guy on her street,now i couldnt stand dis one cos he use to drive around in his mum's SUV,he dont have a life,he wasnt in school,jus generally lounging and throwin money around......dat went on for 2years and i kept complaining until dis guy finds anoda and leaves her again.........then she starts seein dis oda guy,they met in da club,he had a nice ride(dat in my opinion was d attraction),the guy was allegedly married with a kid abroad.....i dint see his means of livelihood,he smelt lik fraud to me,i dont really know how to hide my opinion especially after am asked,so i told her d guy was a bloody waste of time and she had to move on but she chose to stay with him till she was jus feelin naughty,he called her up(he does dat only wen he's horny) after acting up like a zillion times,and she told him their relationship wasnt wat she'd like of it so she wants it over,d bastard dint even beg or act sorry,he jus "okay" and hung up!!!
Then she meets anoda guy and d 1st thing i told her was "Wait it out",she had not been with a bf in like 6months and u gals know how its is,friends gettin married,havn kids,gettin engaged and stuff so she jus jumps into the relationship,am like y not chill a bit??y not see if u can be friends long enuf for 3months???story,story,story,after like 3months of good fuckery(she says),d guy starts actin up,say sumitn about his EX coming back and he tinks he still luvs her..........i never met d guy and i and my friend are suppose 2 be close friends!!fast track to now(before i faint from typing)

She just got introduced,okay the truth is matchmade at work and now they are friends.she told me a week after it happeend and i begged her to be friends wit the guy,dont start datin him yet,jus give urself emotional strength,dis oda guy jus left less than 3months ago but b4 i could say L,she's dating him,now i started beggin her not to sleep with him cos for her,its not jus sex,she gets easily involved too much,she starts planning her life around d persons!!she truly is "making luv" not jus sex,its always d 1st thing she regrets....bla bla bla.now after about a month,d guy is complaining dat "wat d heck,its like they hav know each other 4ever,he loves her,he wants to make luv to her".bla bla bla then she comes to meet me and she despeartely needs me to meet the guy cos i can always tell if d relationship will last or not!!(yeah right)
i guess very very well about relationships,hers is always maaad easy though!!i know d one dat will defnlty work out,d one dat might and d one dat will defntly not work out!!nothing speactacular,one jus sees d obvious signs!!of course av been wrong b4,like tinkin 2 pips dating all through uni wont marry and they both did at 25,Yup,d guy was 25 and he could afford it well!!
Av met d guy,i think he's okay,he looks like he has his life on track but i dont feel trusting of him,i still dont tink its okay for her to sleep with him,she asked for my verdict and i know she truly wants me to say yes but i dont want too!!she was sayin she must be married by this year b4 d guy b4 dis new one,now she's sayin she has to be married by next year..............she's jus FREAKIN 25!!

Wat am i suppose to do??thinking about it is hectic?i am d most patient listener i know so i have loads of stories like dis and might be sharing them every now an then so i can hear wat oda pips tink generally

PS:OOoops,An oga(boss),*not mine* jus caught me bloggin and told me "i know u have a blog,send it to me"should i send maybe like naijachicito's blog or maintain my stand dat i dnt have a blog??LOL

Character,New fad

2008-05-14T12:57:00.005+01:00

i have not been able to put up another update cos i didn't want opinions to stop coming on the "vacation spot"Thanks y'all for droppin by.....
Well,dubai won.Am planning a trip for 4.Hope i have blast......

Well,i was just wondering if this behaviour about men is in all men or jus
my beau(i am talking about sumtin else next dnt wrry.....LOL)
I have noticed that over time,we hardly argue about the same thing a 2nd time or max 3rd time.d argument can be sooo heated,say loads of crap but i just noticed that the "offence" never repeats itself again even if he didn't agree with me while we were arguin.isnt it funny?
I am also wondering if all men lack the planning skill or its just him.he knows he
wants to travel and he's hardly bothered about it,he's probably working his butt off
or just doin wat he does(i get lost on his many activities most times) and he leaves it till d last minute.Of which,now he hears d kinda thing am talkin about on d phone(bookings of hotels,emirates,southern china et al) wit my gals,he's now tryin to squeeze himself in!I told him i cldnt spoil d fun after creatin all d hype with my gals,we cant travel together again.He's now suggesting a dubai - london trip.see me see trouble oh,asides d fact dat i dont wanna go to the UK,i cant even dare to tell anyone dat right now cos it wont be fair!!
He has to either be convinced or be convinced!!i cant shout......
Then,please wats the new aso ebi out there??i dont really like wooden or ankara but i totally love d concept of all my friends in one attire cos i dont really like d bridal train thingy anyway cos asides d fact that all my friends feel "too old" to be on a train,one is never able to wear d dress again and i personally dont like dat.wats d new fad??

nice vacation spot

2008-05-06T10:18:00.003+01:00

hey peoples,hiya doin??thanks for all your comments.

Please i am trying to find out where one can go for a vacation and not spend soooo much and still have fun.dubai,ghana or southafrica???kenya use to be on dat list before their crisis end of last year.
who has been to any of these places??which one was most fun??around when is sales in dubai??do i really have to go with someone or a group of people to have max fun??
i want to plan my vacation and my boo really wants to go to london,i don tire for dat london jare,the expense is even too much,transport cost alone.............LOL
So we might have to go to different places,i shall look for one of my stressed friends to take a holiday!any ideas people?of even places that are not on my list and am not thinking about,i already heard about seychelles...too much complication tryin to get there!!!thanks peoples!!

My weekend

2008-04-28T11:27:00.002+01:00

Hello people,hiya doing?how was your weekend??my weekend was fab,twas my anniversary weekend.
It started with a movie at the galleria(Fool's gold) on friday,i went to watch it cos i was told it had a romantic feel,well,i didnt really like it,my beau did,he thought it was nice.......then off we went to Villa Medici,an italian restaurant on d island and it was good,d staff was very courteous,the place was really beautiful,they had dis bridge with a pond like thing,candles lit everywhere,d food was right on point...........twas really really perfect.
My beau kept awwwwing and ooooing.Then we went home,i planned we'd go clubbing but i was tired already and so was he so off we wnt to bed!
Next day(saturday),we woke up,sanitation.dint plan for dat so it slowed me down,we left the house,wanted to go to barcelos for breakfast(you should try it too)but my baby was feeling ill so we had to go to d lab,took malaria and thypoid test,found out he had malaria so he took medications,he was soooooo desperate not to spoil my plans so he really put up a bold front for me then we went to collect our anniversary cake from Araba(she makes d best cakes in lagos) then to a resort(Akodo)................went by the beach,played games,d staff there too were really courteous(i have sumtin for politeness).................we stayed away from d hustles and bustles of lagos,it was really really fun!!
Then came sunday,it started raining so we couldnt go and swim,we had to stay indoors and twas sooooooooooooooooo much fun,we watched Heroes,i tink its old though but if you havnt seen it,u should,its really crazy.Just the 2 of us!!!!!!!!!then last for d day,we came back to the cinema to watch "21",now dats my best movie for d month!you should go and watch it.
twas really really really nice.its been shown at the galleria and Nu metro at the moment.
i saw this salsa competition too after the movie,we jus stumbled upon that,it wasnt part of d plans.................LOL!
All in all,i had a really nice weeekend!!

PS:see me see trouble oh,now my beau wants us to go and start plans,he wants us to arrange his parents meeting mine!!
yeah yeah,i knew we were going to get married and all that but he hasnt proposed!!wats goin to happen to the proposal part on my website?????how do i tell him to propose formally joo???i wear a ring that everyone thinks is a proposal ring but i asked him to buy me this pretty birthstone on my birthday and dats wat he did,he bought me jewellery anyway so it was all in d pack!
how do i get him to do sumtin romantic???huh????help!!!!!!!!!!LOL
have a nice week y'all

My Friend

2008-04-21T18:23:00.002+01:00

I'd like to talk about my best friend.
She has really Big boobs,her bra size is 42DD,she is very very uncomfy about it,she lives in Nigeria,gets cat calls at parks and stuff,her confidence has a problem because of her big breasts,we once went to Modupe Ozolua and realized she needed over 1M to actually have her breast reduced and we werent guranteed it wont grow again.
Now her Mum is pressuring her to marry at age 20 simple because she's scared she wont find anyone to marry her,she's 20 and looks 25 body stature wise but if u look at her face,u'll see she's just a baby,she's really really unhappy as it is now,i wish i could offer her words but i cant,she's still a student so it not like she can afford d operation but its really funny for her.
she feels so bad about her body,she cant afford to just wear a t-shirt like everyone,she cant afford to walk about naked like everyone in school??
she's d most brilliant person i know,she's smart,funny,full of great ideas but her breasts always make her sry..............how can i help???

My Hubby

2008-04-21T17:10:00.003+01:00

Okay the truth is things happen to me and i write and write about it then when am feeling better,i jus tear up the paper,now i know about blogging,it just feels right to blog about it.
I always wanted to start a blog but didnt find the right time,so please bear my ramblings about nothing. please indulge my first post
Ocassionally,i will come here and yarn about how Q(hubby) is really pissing me off and how it got sorted,sweet things he did for me..............et al
My people,see me see trouble oh,i came to work this morning,tried to call Boyfy for like an hour and he didnt pick when he was meant to be at work(he has a nasty habit of not callin back after seeing missed calls sometimes) so i keep callin until he picks and gives me d "i'll call u back" line,he finally calls at 1pm and the conversation goes thus:
me:"is it now u are having my time"
him:"Stop talking like dat,i dont like it when u are yarning crap"at dis junction he's either feigning anger or truly angry(i dunno)
me:wat do u mean by that?dont u tell me d same thing when i havnt called in a while after seein ur missed call?
him:d fact i say it doesnt mean u should say the same,afterall it doesnt annoy u
me:yes,its doesnt annoy me and as far as am concerned,there's nutin offensive in dat
him:i find it offensive,i still say it cos u dont object
Me:wat kinda dumb argument are we having dis monday?its not called for???how can u say sumtin,i dont tink it offensive,i say same and its a problem??
Him:dats d difference between the both of us
Me:I think u should think very well before saying some things(cuts me off..)
Him;Ehn,wat did u just say??
Me:I said u should have thought about it before just accusing me like dat,wotever,takia talk to u later .

I do dat wen i have been pissed,i call it damage control cos i have a quick temper and will say and unsay wen i am provoked.
For Cryin out loud,people,wat do you think?does it make sense for sum1 to tell u i can use some words or talk in a particular way they consider offensive to you cos they dotn consider it offensive??
It actually pissed me off enuf to start a blog cos its our annivesry this weekend an i have been planning this getaway to Akodo beach resort so i needed to tell him to jus make sure dis weeknd is free of all plans and lo and behold,he pisses me off!!!
watever,i hope he behaves himself at then end of today otherwise....................

In the beginning.............

2008-04-21T16:50:00.000+01:00

Well,hello people,hiya doing??after been addicted to soooooo many blogs and loving every second of it,i decided to start off.........
I hope this blog is as therapeutic as i want it to be
I hope i can update as often as i harass people for updates
I hope i have nice virtuaL friends(No nasty anons please..LOL)
I hope to talk about myself as i know me,things i know or think about myself,my hubby,people around me,my colleagues,my friends and their never ending relationship issues
Let the parry begin!!!!